Wednesday, March 01, 2006



OK, on Tuesday I was on SUCH a tear, it was ungodly. I think after days like this I must at last acknowledge the existence of PMS or the forces of evil or somesuch.

Normally I'm chipper and accommodating of everyone who comes in the office, but today I slept through 45 minutes of my alarm and I could either be very late and immaculately coiffed, or I could skip the hair mojo and just take a shower. I chose curtain number 2, and as a result I felt rather grumpy today. I was logged into our website and attempting to update some information when the bloody flipping phone rang for the millionth time and as I answered I noticed a group of geezers wandering the property to salivate over a gazillion $$ deal they are working with my company. These types wanna be Donald Trump, which is muy unappealing to moi. Well, in the middle of an attempt to focus on updating text on our site, they sashayed into my office and demanded to see the head of the company. I said, "sure, he's in there" and pointed toward his office. Golly, where did that come from? No leaping up to show them to the conference room? No offering coffee or other earthly delights? Dramatic reenactments from the Song of Solomon, perhaps? These are powerful men, unaccustomed to anything but the warm welcoming smiles from women that come with a tacit offer of pleasures licit and otherwise. Anyway - one of the guys said "I need to talk to you out here" to the other guys, and they stepped outdoors for a minute. I'll bet they went out and said that they'll make firing me a condition of the deal. *tee hee*
Seriously, I didn't lift a finger to bow and scrape, although I would have been more eager to be helpful if they'd been the slightest bit courteous. Trust me, I can be as diplomatic as the next person, but I had been working so hard to focus on my task and it all happened in a heartbeat. I'll bet if I go to the website and look at the text I was working on I'll find I broke off mid-sentence somewhere along the way. In truth, what I do for the company is not even related to that big deal end of things, and I'm a little out of the loop on that process, happily. Mind the nails, chaps. That blood's fresh.

6 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Yay! I applaud you on not kneeling before those rude jerks. You are my hero for today.

Kelly said...

Hey! Everyone is entitled to have a bad day now & then.

Even us tiara-wearing diplomats! ;-)

*Ting*

Maven said...

See this shit sticks up my ass sideways. RAW.

Why should it be the female to furnish the java and greet?

We get folks in all the time, mucky mucks etc. Why on earth the folks in-house, who have set up meetings, don't bring in a Box O'Joe from Dunkin Donuts (but rather want the cuntflunkies--of which I am one, make coffee, which has been subsidized from the inhouse "Coffee Club"--which I think isn't fair to those who pay for it), is beyond me. It not only inconveniences the females, but also takes them away from more pressing matters.

I would have done the same thing.

phlegmfatale said...

wow, barbara, I'm deeply honored! I was starting to feel doubtful like I may have done a bad thing, and I rarely doubt myself.

kb - thanks for the pass on this one!

nugget - beautifully put, as ever. Thanks for the commiseration.

Really, thanks to all of you. I woke up doubting myself this morning and for me self-doubt is like seeing a peacock in the spackle aisle of Home Depot: not a common occurrence. Golly, I love y'all!

Wild*Hen said...

Love the Velociraptor in drag.

That alone should cheer you some...

phlegmfatale said...

Thanks lungfung - Yeah, I laughed and laughed - it was therapeutic bastardizing someone else's artwork.