Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The price is XXXX, and with a signed lease and one month's deposit, I can hold this apartment for up to 30 days for you.

Really? I have to give a 60 day notice where I live now. Can't you work with me on that?

That means I have it sitting empty and getting no rent for an additional 30 days. No, I can't be flexible about that. It's our policy only to hold for 30 days.

Aw, come on, now, phlegm, you're breaking my back here. Can't you work with me on that?

[That was the tipping point, by the way. Mama doesn't like you anymore and wants you to live somewhere else.]

saccharine mode: Aw, dude, I wish I could! But it's supply and demand, man! Other apartments are happy if they stay over 90%. Mine rarely dip below 97%. It's not me- it's the marketplace. People want to live here, and I can't have a place sitting empty and rent-free for one person while someone else wants to rent it. Gosh, I'm sorry it won't work for you. I think you would have liked living here.


As he was leaving, he gave me his business card. I can tell a lawyer or a doctor when I meet one. Knew this guy was in sales. I wonder how he responds when someone tells him he is breaking their [insert anatomy bit here]?

The funny thing is how often I hear that our community is really special and that our staff are not like the weird sales-bots one meets in other Dallas apartments. Just because I start every encounter as sweetness and light doesn't mean I can't end it as Supreme Goddess Queen OOber Bitch, sonny. Just don't make me go there.


Buck said...

GREAT soundtrack to this post, Phlegmmy! O My Lord, but I would lurve to have the opportunity to "be good to Mama..." The woman defines "hotness" in my book. There are quite a few synonyms (or equivalent definitions), of course, but we don't need to go there.

(Speaking of Queen Latifah, I am.)

HollyB said...

Sweetness to Uber Bitch in 0.6 seconds! Impressive.

phlegmfatale said...

buck - I agree. You have very good taste.

Hols - Gosh, it's so flattering when you say it that way!

HollyB said...

It's impressive b/c that's how long it takes me for that same task. Just another reason you're my little Sistah.

Christina RN LMT said...

I also dig the Queen!

I don't have enough bitch in me sometimes...

phlegmfatale said...

holly - High praise, indeed!

christina - she's so cool. We'll have to work on that, honey!

Anonymous said...

A good rental community and a great staff really are worth they're weight in gold. Regrettably, most places are not like this.

Can I come live with you??? ;)