Wednesday, October 22, 2008

And now, without further ado, it's been simply too long since I treated you all to my mad digital arts skills. Try not to be jealous. Yeah, I did this with exactly zero art school learnin'. Try not to be hatin' on me just because I'm so naturally gifted.


There's a store in town which sells the kind of supplies i need for my stuff that I make and sell. I don't go there often, though, because they charge even wholesale customers like me a ghastly price above what I'd pay to order the same stuff from New Mexico or at a gem show.
Anyhoo, like I said, the prices are exorbitant, but a trip there at least affords the perverse pleasure of getting to stare at the proprietor, who is an older, very tall man with Gandalf-style hair treatments on chin and head, except all around his mouth is an aureole of nicotine stain, starting with twin jets of nico-skid below the nostrils and flaring out into a gently burnished rust color around the mouth. His index and middle finger are both amber-color with same.
He is rude and gruff and has the warmth and people skills of a road grader, so I don't feel so bad writing this post about him.
If he ever runs out of cigs, he could just suck on his facial hair and fingers for a nicotine fix. Nice to have a backup, I suppose.

10 comments:

OrangeNeckInNY said...

Oooh...very 'South Park'ish. I likes!!

phlegmfatale said...

orange neck - ooooee you gots good taste, baby!

Turk Turon said...

Y'know....those cigarettes'll kill ya.

So why not send him a carton, in the mail, anonymously? All friendly-like.

DBA Dude said...

Sounds like there could be an opening for a similar store in the Dallas area - but run by a young, well dressed lady equipped with great people skills?

phlegmfatale said...

turk turon - Yeah, he's obviously doing without...

dba dude - alas, a young, well-dressed young lady with great people skills has yet to find the financial backing for such a venture *le sigh*

DirtCrashr said...

He just heeds a nicotine colored dip in the Nice-N-Easy tub to even things out and start hitting on younger babes.

Christina LMT said...

EW! Reminds me of white dogs who get those tear stains down their faces!
I bet the proprietor reeks of cigarettes, too!

lainy said...

That was a nasty, funny story!

*giggling*

Attila The Mom said...

OMG. I feel like I want to give him a big fat sloppy kiss.

Not! LOL

Christina LMT said...

Attila the Mom wins the "How to Make Christina Hurl in 10 Seconds or Less" Award!