Friday, January 04, 2008

Hair Apparent

Um, Ew. Just EW.

A Seattle-bound flight landed instead in Pittsburgh to unload a handcuffed pervert who fondled the hair of- and groped a fellow passenger as she tried to sleep. I'm betting she was faking the "trying to sleep" thing. It's time for hair-touching to be taken as the seriously borderline behavior it truly is. Besides, some women go bananas when you touch their hair. At least I have heard this is true. No one I know, of course.

One of my all-time favorite stories in the news was a girl in England who had the compulsion to eat hair, or trichophagia. Hair and fingernails are pure protein and can not be digested. Apparently the smooth surface of hair does not allow it to be moved through the digestive tract through normal peristalsis, thus a hairball develops.

Anyway, this girl in England had been a hair eater since early childhood, but had been in therapy and her family thought she was cured. She then decided to go to school to become a beautician. One day she began having profound stomach cramps, and within a very short time, she was dead. She had about a 5 pound ball of hair in her stomach-- not all her own stuff.

Isn't it amazing her family let her go to hair school, knowing her compulsion? Isn't that like sending an alcoholic to a bartending academy or a pyromaniac to work in a match factory? Asking for trouble.

Life can be so much stranger than anything you can make up.
Speaking of made-up, I'm enjoying the courtship of Captain Vimes and Lady wossit (swamp-dragon lady), if that is indeed what's happening. Pratchett seems to have keenly observed how humans get on, and he looks most kindly upon the process. Sweet.


none said...

The worst feeling is hair in the back of the throat. I can't see how she ate all that hair without gagging.

I'm sure there is a dirty joke in there somewhere...

Christina RN LMT said...


It's too funny you should write about this today, since one of the showers in the spa clogged up.

We had maintenance in to snake the pipe, and they got out a HUGE plug of hair. Which they proceeded to show me and everyone else around.

Women are very dirty, I could tell you stories...

Mauser*Girl said...

I'm really not sure how I feel about one person touching another person's hair.

On one hand, I think it's a major violation of someone's private space, just like patting them on the butt would be, especially if it happens without asking first.

On the other hand, it's apparently socially acceptable to a lot of people. I've been reading long-hair websites (trying to figure out a way to grow mine nice and strong), and it seems women with very long hair often get accosted by people who want to touch it. Weird.

As far as the hair ball ... there is one of those in the museum at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. It's a human hairball shaped like a stomach. YUCK.

Anonymous said...

Yuk! That's just gross.

What a perv to grope some woman who slept. Hope he goes to jail and gets his grope on in there;)

Carteach said...

Interesting observations all...

Vimes and the Lady Dragon...
Interesting and unusual mix, you think?

Kinda makes me wonder about the women Pratchett knows in real life.

I'll not spoil any endings for you, only say they will feature again.

Anonymous said...

The parents could have at least given her some Hartz hairball goop like I have to give my cat, don't you think? I mean, damn. Where's the love?

HollyB said...

Taking things in reverse order:
I've always thought a pyro in Fire Investigation would be a perfect match, myself. He'd LOVE goin' to work b/c he'd be around all the remnants of the thing he loves most. Course there would be that prob of constant erections and him excusin' himself to go someplace private on a regular basis...hmm? maybe not so good an idea after all.

English Hair girl: Just imagine the marvelous case study she'll make for medical students and Psyciatriatic Residents for years to come.

The perv on the airplane: that's some form of Frottage. The fetish of gettin' off on rubbin' against people "accidentally". It's also assault. If he touched her in naughty places or had his naughty bits exposed that would make it Sexual Assault.

As a Woman who had waist-length hair for years [teen and pregnancy/breastfeeding, specifically]: it's nice to have all those locks that require so much upkeep admired, after all, that's why we grew them, for the attention; keep your frickin' hands off unless you ask permission. That's part of my BODY! Would you caress any other part of me w/o permission? I think NOT!!! At least not w/o me stompin' a mudhole in your ass!

@ MauserGirl-- try taking PreNatal vitamins. I think that, plus the hormones, are what made my hair grow x3 its normal rate when I was pregnant/breastfeeding. Unless you're ready to get preggers, the vitamins are your next best shot. Be prepared for longer, stronger nails, too. You're welcome.
When I got pregnant the first time, my hair was just barely at the top of my shoulders. By the time I was 4 months along, it was at the bottom of my shoulder blades. By the time I delivered, it was almost to my waist. By the time my daughter was 3 mo. old it was almost to my butt, so I had it trimmed back to my waist. That is some kinda FAST growth rate, since I'm 5'9 and therefore have a LONG body. Good Luck!

FHB said...

Well damn, I've probably got about 10 pounds of undigested finger and toe nails in my gut. Cheers.