Saturday, January 05, 2008

Erm. Uh.

This lady stopped cutting her nails in 1979.

This is why little Scotty will need lots and lots of therapy.

Oh my.


Mauser*Girl said...

Maybe it's just me, but I find those nails to be really disgusting. Yuck.

Christina RN LMT said...

It's not just you, Mauser*girl.


I guess tampons are not an option.

She can't pick her nose.
Or scratch her butt (or anything else, for that matter).

I see! It's a disgusting method for keeping her from OTHER disgusting habits.

I would not let her anywhere near my hair, either.

Wouldn't it be fun to slip her a mickey and cut her nails while she's out of it? I'd really enjoy that.

Anonymous said...

I've seen this lady on the t.v. before and think her nails are disgusting. No, Mauser*girl you're right! Yuk!

Carteach said...

Ah..... how about "yuck"?
Yup, I think that covers it pretty well....

phlegmfatale said...

mauser girl - I'm not obsessed or anything, but I do like to wash my hands frequently - fingernails can harbor lots of germs. Ew.

christina - *hee* That's so sadistic. It really makes you wonder - it's incredible that she's never broken one

lainy - amazing to me. Funny thing is, otherwise, I'd think she's really cute for 66. Heck, I find nails just an inch long to be icky

carteach0 - Yeah, 'nuff said!

Anonymous said...

Wonder what a shrink would say about that? I bet it'd go something like "she's nuckin' futs. Plain and simple."

SoHoS said...


breda said...

EEEEEEEEEEW. That is pure nastiness.

I cannot even stand letting my nails get past my fingertips.

I say Christina and I go ninja, sneak into that woman's house and lop those filth collectors right off. (and then sell them on ebay)

none said...

Sheesh, I'm about to barf. said...

Yes, I agree with all the unanswered questions - yuck!

HollyB said...

Myron, there IS some pathology involved there...I'm just trying to figure out which Personality disorder to classify her under.
She is neurotic in the extreme, and obviously has a Pathological need for attention.

I'm tempted to go with Narcississtic Personality Disorder because EVERYONE else has to accomodate HER and HER nails. But then again, this need for attention also fits quite nicely into the Histrionic P.D. Diagnosis.

Fact is, it's hard to cubbyhole someone from a video...I'll just have to wonder.
But I agree with everyone about the ginormous YUCK factor.
Oh, and that grandson looked like he'd rather be anywhare else but gettin' his hair cut my Granny Long Nails, didn't he?

Christina RN LMT said...

Breda, tell me when and where!

I bet it'd be enough to cut off ONE, then she'd freak and have to make the others match.

I wonder if someone could contrive to accidentally break one of her nails...

Really, it's for her own good.

phlegmfatale said...

myron - I'll bet you're right

sohos - I'm all for freakiness up to a point... Her hands are looking arthritic - that's got to be incredibly painful to deal with. Ew.

breda - you and christina COULD lop them off, but wouldn't it be more fun - wouldn't you have HOURS more fun - if you ground them down with a Dremel with grinding attachment? I'm thinking of you here, really. Just be sure to wear a good respirator mask - no telling what pathogens are embedded in those things.

hammer - sexy, huh?

mushy - hotness!

holly b - I concur with your diagnosis. And yes-- little Scotty looked a mite nervous, to me. Prolly thinking "aw shit. Whyzzit always my turn to appear in the videos with gramma?" I'll bet her own children are jealous of her doting on her nails. Something in her life MUST have been neglected in order to maintain 30 feet of fingernail

christina - Yeah - she seems to keep them very uniform in length. I'm just baffled she's never accidentally broken one - they didn't ask her that, did they? I mean, they could have bondo'd them back together, right?
I think it's generous of you and breda to offer to help solve her problem. Kindhearted souls, you!

Anonymous said...

The bit showing her threading the sissors over those nails did me in - "Edwina" Scissorhands, anyone?


Lin said...

I was getting the Scissorhands creepies, too. I once saw a photograph of a mandarin with nails that long but they curled back towards his fingers - also creepy.
These days I'm thrilled to have just one long finger nail to pick my nose with - and that's only thanks to much SuperGlue (you obviously don't do ANYTHING until the glue has dried, DAMHIK).

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Jesus christ on a cracker, what an exhausting way to live your life! Although I was secretly hoping we would see her accidentally chop one of them into the celery.

Christina RN LMT said...


I never even thought about that!

So not only would I never let her near me with scissors, I'd also never, ever, EVER let her prepare any food for me.

g bro said...

Jesus, that's gross!

breda said...

Dremel? Hmm....

Even better, kidnap her, bring her to my house and use my bench grinder.

And why exactly is granny wearing the leather dominatrix outfit while cutting the kid's hair?

Zelda said...

I must say her nails look far better than the previous world record holder who was some dude from India or Pakistan or something.

That being said, I don't like my fingernails growing past my fingertips.

FHB said...

I'm sorry, but that's just gross. Who whipes her ass? Lord above.

NotClauswitz said...

Ick. Competing with some East Asian for the bottom rung is not a viable career option.