Friday, January 18, 2008

An LA judge gets creative and sentences Lindsay Lohan to work 2 four-hour shifts in a morgue and one shift in an emergency room as punishment for her drunk driving. That, coupled with the 84-minute jail sentence she served (so, what, 84 minutes of processing, no actual cell-time?), should really teach her the evils of driving drunk. She can think of it as researching future roles.

If you ax me, they should make her spend a few days with Britney (I know, leave her alone!), because Lindsay is heading for Britneyland, it appears.

When you think back to your wild youth and foolishly squandered early adult-hood, didja ever stop to think that maybe it was a tremendous blessing not to have vast amounts of wealth with which to do every little thing your foolish heart desired?

OMG - look at this fabulous photo I found of a visibly disturbed Salma Hayek recoiling from the boozey-cum*-ashtray kiss being offered up by la Lohan. You don't have to be a body language expert to read Salma's mind. Ick. She was prolly worried a herpe might jump on her in such close proximity, and who could blame her?

You filthy prevert!


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Apparently you are nobody in Hollywood unless you have the requisite number of DUIs.

I hop Salma got herself a facial peel after that encounter. It's the only safe action.

Buck said...

...maybe it was a tremendous blessing not to have vast amounts of wealth with which to do every little thing your foolish heart desired?

Not even once. I've regretted not having the loot to finance more and better debauchery, often. But then again, money went a lot farther in my yoot than it does maybe it's a wash.

OTOH, I've murmured "There but for the Grace of God..." thousands of times. said...

Can't blame her...I wouldn't kiss Lohan with your lips!

LBJ said...

The sad thing is. .this little twit actually had a glimmer of talent. Now her only talent probably involves a latex product.

Christina RN LMT said...

She was tremendously talented as a young child, I blame the 'rents for the disaster she is now.

And sheesh, people! "Cum" is Latin for "with". We won't get into the 'merican meaning...

Lin said...

I didn't realize how blessed I was to be poh white trash back then. Come to think of it, I still don't quite. Well, except that maybe my less than brilliant moments didn't make the tabloids.

DBA Dude said...

Salma's reaction would be mine if I ever had the misfortune to get that close to her.

phlegmfatale said...

barbara - I spose in that town, it's best to carry cootie spray at all times!

buck - tsk! tsk!

mushy - I wouldn't LET you kiss LL with my lips!

lin m - I thought she was really good in Freaky Friday - it's disappointing for her to be such a bratty wastrel

christina - yup, I blame the 'rents, too. Thanks for the backup on the Latin crap!

lin - Honey - there's nothing trashy about you- you and all the folks on my blog roll are rich in what really counts in life. I think to a degree it is a help to make mistakes in youth/early adulthood - else how do we figure out how to change and grow? But to act out and have that experience under the evil eye of the hounding media has to be warping.

dba dude - Yup. She's grody.

g bro said...

Here's my plan: tell all these morons that there is a celebrity reality show, take all of them and all of the paparazzi and all of the celebrity reporters out to a desert island. Do not tell anybody that the cameras are fake. Then tiptoe away and never come back. And occasionally airdrop booze and drugs to them. Kind of "Gilligan's Island" meets "The Prisoner."

Attila the Mom said...

Good God, I'd be afraid of more than a herpe jumping on me! LOL