Are you sitting down?
I hereby pinkie swear I'm not making this next thing up, no matter how improbable or immaculately inane it may seem.
Paris Hilton is going to Rwanda for humanitarian purposes. "There's so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help," she allegedly said.
Um, I think they already have enough problems of their own, Paris.
Then again, maybe you can hook up with one of those Doctors Without Borders gratis plastic surgeon guys and he can fix that lazy eye. Some have said you could use a vaginoplasty, but I don't want to be mean, so I wouldn't suggest that, but I will say that if you didn't go around flashing your nethers at paparazzi, the question of labial correction would merely be a matter of speculation, rather than one of verifiable fact. I do suggest that you refrain from flashing your fanny as you deplane, because you don't want to put those starving people off their meager feed.
As you fly home on your private jet, all warm and toasty-feeling from that mission of mercy, take a moment to thank grandpa that you plopped into a milieu that allows you to have a handbag that cost more than the price of food for a whole village in Rwanda for a year. Yeah, you go there. That's what the world really needs. Because merely giving a rat's ass is enough-- it's the thought that counts. Whatever you do, don't just send a lot of money or a big shipment of food to them, because that's so low-profile and someone might not give you credit for really caring. And we all know how much you really care about the pipples of the world.
I'm just saying.