Saturday, January 28, 2006



I haven't mentioned work much in many moons, so I'll rag on about something that happened this week.

There was a hideous, judgmental toad-of-a-man who did business with our company, and I busted him for something highly unethical. Rather than fessing up and being an adult and admitting an error, he spewed a raging stream of bitter vitriol aimed primarily at me in attempt to deflect attention away from his wrong-doing. I of course, am lily-white so his harangue fell flat. Hurrah! I kept my mouth shut and remained cool, although it was tempting to tell him what a jowl-centric hideously skin-tagged old toad he is. (Why do men crave being dominated by me???) He was fairly begging me for the wire-brush enema he so richly deserved, but I decided to do things the Italian way and let this platter of revenge cool sufficiently so he'd feel extra-super-stupid when the shit really came down and landed on his bottom-line. I was the very picture of collected deportment, knowing I had the whip-handle over him. A mere 3 months later, our contract with him was up for renewal, and I sent him a formal and brief letter saying that we would be dissolving the business relationship with him and we wished him the best as he sought other arrangements. Predictably, he was in a rage, quaking and swearing revenge. We shrugged it off. La la!

Our industry is a rather tightly knit community in town, and we have a yahoo group consisting of about 150 people who see each other fairly regularly and are in touch online daily. When I arrived at work on Thursday, two people in the office asked me "so who do you think Jane is?" This didn't register since I hadn't checked my email since Tuesday, and they explained someone named "Jane" had been on a tear on the yahoo group bitching a la poison pen about our company and making wild threats. Actually, their first 4 or 5 posts on the group were in the guise of a concerned citizen questioning our ethics and going on about what a detriment to the community we were. The only person specifically mentioned was me, and I was called an "airhead." I had to giggle. Misanthropic, scrotum-shredding little old me? A dingbat? Yeah! Fooled em again! I read the volley of emails that had flown through the group that day, and about 10 seconds into reading the butchery of the English language "Jane" had set afoot, I knew it was our favorite old bridge-troll whose grasp of the language had always been wobbly at best. Syntax errors abounded, grammatical and spelling errors, atrocious confusion of terms - it was rather pitiful that I felt more inclined to guffaw than to be steamed at the unfounded attack. I actually felt sorry for the old goat.

Then again, I've always said it's better to be underestimated than to have a bitter enemy know exactly where you're coming from. My philosophy is that I take everyone at face-value. When I meet people, they have a clean slate, and I don't judge them or make assumptions about their worthiness as a human being etc. However, if forced into an adversarial role, let me just say I keep very good documentation and always present my cases convincingly. I'm sure this is not the last we'll hear from Jane. I'll report back on this if anything tasty occurs.

By the way - this is my second brilliant rendering in Paint program, and I'm the bee in toady's bonnet. BZZZZZ!

11 comments:

Dick said...

Sounds like you work in the same industry I do, less the screaming idiots and Yahoo groups.
I'm fortunate enough to be in the public's eye everyday in my business and yeah, we deal with some severe idiots who come after us and our jobs.
You'd think they'd learn by now.

Oh, thanks for the thoughts and tell your sissy thank you for me.

phlegmfatale said...

I think some people are just so trapped in their own personal hell that they feel they have to spread the magic. I in particular seem to inspire this sort of thing in the type of person who can't stand to see anyone else having a good time, which I frequently am. La!

Yes, Dick, you and your family continue in our thoughts as your pa goes through is recovery from this serious health crisis. You is good people, and we love ya.

phlegmfatale said...

Note to self: type slower and start proof-reading comments before I post them. sheesh!

Big Pissy said...

Love the toad pic!

I don't know what industry you work in, but many of the men in my industry (legal) are asses on a regular basis.

I enjoy annihilating them whilst wearing a tiny little smile on my face.

But that's just me..... :)

Zelda said...

For your sake, I hope he keeps posting. People like that have a way of hanging themselves with their own rope, and the more they spew the tighter the noose.

phlegmfatale said...

Yeah, pissy - men in the law industry have perfected self-apotheosis like few other professions. What a bunch of gators - they deserve whatever you dole out.

Thanks, Zelda. I've been above-board in all my dealings and have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I have heard from others in the community that folks believe this is an unreasonable person with an axe to grind because otherwise, why the anonymity? That kind of cowardice demonstrates that he doesn't want who he is and his motives considered in the mix. Haters. They're out there.

Knight Of The Storms said...

careful now phlegmy,
what did we say about blogging and work place...

Knight Of The Storms said...

bthw I am sure you are closet dominatrix lol :)

phlegmfatale said...

I'm behaving - just that one little post to let you know I didn't fall off the planet. It's funny, knight, because lots of men I've met have told me the same thing. I wonder why... tee hee.

Elle said...

I think Zelda is right. Won't it be lovely to watch him hang himself on his own foul intestines?

phlegmfatale said...

Yeah, ariel - I always feel sorry for people who try to match wits with me, yet enter the contest unarmed. Tsk tsk. And yes, it would be tasty to see him twist in the wind festooned with a garland of his own entrails. I'll keep you posted!