When I went to this new job, the supervisor in charge of the group introduced herself to us the first day. D's a gregarious, engaging person and probably never met a stranger. D is our kind of girl. Love her. She told us a lot about her life and how great the company was to work for. She also said we might as well get used to the fact that she is obsessed with Edward from Twilight and wishes her husband were more like him. Apparently, her husband is aware of this benign obsession and indulges her.
Since I'm still in training (only 4 or 5 months of training to go-- yays!), I've been cloistered with the other n00bs in a training room, not yet having been unleashed into the general worker bee population where I'll no doubt one day fondly embrace my new role in life as cublicle whore. Still, we walk through the main workroom and there are quite a few Twilight posters dotted about, but D's cubicle is liberally festooned with Twilightery.
Stopping by a book/record store recently, I saw a raft of Twilight-themed products, including candy hearts with Edward on the box and sayings appropriate to the story line: "Bite Me" and, well, you get the picture.
Wouldn't it be lovely if Edward were to requite D's affection in some small way? Well, Edward bought a box of those candies and left them on D's desk last week with a greeting card declaring his utter besottedness with her. This week, Edward left a simple offering of a ripe, perfect plum, more sweet nothings scrawled lasciviously within the accompanying card.
Thursday D was talking to our group and saying what a superlative lot we are (none having been fired this first 8 weeks was in itself exceptional, apparently), and that, by the way, Edward has been leaving her gifties on her desk, and she asked our instructor if she was Edward. She searched our faces for recognition, but I sat, poker-faced, having known it was coming. No one admitted to being Edward, least of all your humble narrator.
One of my inner circle has ventured that I can't ever come clean now if I want to keep my job, but I think I will, one day. I think it's obviously an innocent and good-natured lark-- Edward doesn't exist at all, so it's not like she thinks this is really from him. I'm going to winnow it out a bit, though. It's fun for her and I'm getting a giggle out of it. Next week, Edward will probably leave another goodie on her computer along with a card valanced with unctuous, looping swags of Byron. *shrug* It blows my skirt up, anyhoo.
I'm impressed. Some might say your sense of humor is a tiny bit twisted, but I won't. I'll wait for the next episode in the unfolding drama.
Telling spoils the fun....and also the job.
Can't wait... :-) This one's gonna be good!
I feel bad, old, useless, ashamed; who in the hell is Edward from twitter?
I think you are going good though
you need to leave some stuff from Jacob too, like they competin' fer her. You also should be sure to drop in "hang on spider monkey" into convo somewhere...
Seven months of training? That's a long time.
For some reason, leaving a bat appeals to me...
Edward is a wimp. an over 100-year-old VIRGIN VAMPIRE?! Who the heck would want one of those? Gimme one who's spent the century perfecting his *ahem* technique and I'm so there.
That said, I think what you're doing is a total hoot.
I'm not too much of an Edward fan either, but that is a really cute joke.
Post a Comment