[This post originally written some months ago, but lacking a careericidal urge, was postponed until this august hour. ]
Hmmm... how to tell this story?
Due to *ahem* professional obligations and life's circumstances, I am compelled to weekly sit in a meeting which very often involves the stripping of hide from my fair person. Yes, it's a sick, dysfunctional arrangement and I won't always be here, but for now that is the way it is. This must be endured, and for all its tediums and embuggerances, I do enjoy some definite perks... For the moment.
When there is good news regarding my work performance, it is generally preceeded by a sound cutting-off-at-the-knees. This, of course, serves the purpose of letting all concerned know they be but lowly worms and pretty much unworthy of high regard. I have cultivated a bland poker face in which I strive to not react to the sheer assholery being served me. Best not to react at all. There is a method to this madness - I think the person believes they are helping others to improve- that one should never rest on one's laurels, even laurels as fetching and finely-crafted as mine own. *pah!*
Tuesday, however, brought a turning of the worm I could scarce have imagined. Near the end of the meeting, the scornful one took a cell phone call. I heard their voice ratcheting up, stress building. The brow was knitted then promptly dropped a stitch, storm clouds billowing up behind the ears as the rage burst forth great cottony tufts. Someone was being torn a new one. Someone was very unhappy about the harangue they were being served courtesy of the caller.
I had to fight not to giggle, oh my darlings. It was magnificent. Steam! Steam billowing from mouth, ears and snout. I pulled my elbows tight to my sides, willing the giggles not to escape my aching ribs. [think, phlegm: dead puppies! tax audits! unpleasant-smelling things! don't laugh!]Good googly moogly, I was dying to laugh. Would I have to do myself a harm? Dig my nails into my palms? Pluck nosehairs, even? (not, of course, that I have any nosehairs, but...)
I was strong. I did not laugh. I was, however, smugly bemused.