Thursday, August 10, 2006

WTF is up with the photo thing in blogger? Grrrr.

Ok, now I MUST talk about Project Runway. OMG, what planet has Bradley been living on? I know she's out there, but even from the outer reaches of the galaxy, Cher in her signature Bob Mackie extravaganzas is readily visible. How could he not know who she is?

Has he lived his entire life not knowing the song "Half-breed?" Surely not, surely he was faking that.

There is simply no excuse for the top he made for Cher that most closely resembled a disposable foil roasting bag, flapping in the wind. And those ill-fitting white with fringe down the front camel-toe britches were a travesty, really. Frankly, he needs to avoid making trousers, generally. That's two disastrous pair of pants he made two weeks in a row. Finally they did the right thing and sent him home.

He seems like a nice guy, but he just didn't have a design aesthetic, period. That, coupled with the fact that he didn't know who Cher was, is practically the kiss of death. Go home, throw on a Phish cd, and get out your favorite bong, Bradley, and just unwind. You're too sweet for the fashion world, anyhoo.

We recommend you next launch a nice line of hemp garments dyed with beets and the powdery pollen from flowers.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are SO RIGHT ON about Bradley. He should have been gone the first week, really. But anyone who doesn't know how to design a Cher-worthy (or for that matter, a Jackie-worthy) outfit just doesn't cut it.

I checked out your profile and CONFESSIONS OF A FAILED SOUTHERN LADY is a fantastically funny book.

--BC

Fathairybastard said...

Damn girl, tell it!

I mean, even if you lived in a cave, there would have been a time, many years ago, before you became a trogledite, when you would have spent at least a little time pulling yourself through puberty in front of that video of her on the battleship, right?

Maybe he was raised in a commune somewhere with no TV or access to People magazine. Go figure.

Ben said...

I saw the pictures. Cher needs to be really considering what she's wearing nowadays.

That costume was awful

mauser*girl said...

I am so glad Brad was finally voted off. Some of the stuff he's done was just ... strange.

He needs to really lay off the dope and join the real world, IMHO.

nongirlfriend said...

Ha!

I visited a hemp store in Maui, one that Woody Harrelson frequents.

I really don't know why I brought that up.

Kelly said...

I've just always been surprised that he could actually complete an outfit, considering every shot of him shows him aimlessly staring at things without actually working.

My favorite Bradley line: "He's like a squid without an ocean."

I'm pretty sure that boy is on some serious pot.

It's Me, Maven... said...

Aren't most of the male designer-wanna-bes gay on that show? If so, he should turn in his tube of astroglide as well as his homosexual membership for not knowing who Cher is. The next thing you'll tell me, he didn't know who Aunt Mame or Liza Minelli are.

It's a shame I tell ya!

I stopped watching after last seasons angst ridden episodes with Santino, the monotoned, unibrowed embodiment of arrogance.

phlegmfatale said...

BC - Florence King is one of the most brilliant and delightful writers of our age. I wish she blogged, because I'd be a total groupie!
Yeah, part of being a designer is knowing what's going on in the style world, and for better or for worse, Cher has been a notable part of the world for decades. Either he's a dim bulb or grew up in a hippie commune, which seems quite likely.

fathairy bastard said the commune thing first, and it totally fits.

ben - I'm sure Cher would't touch that with a 50 foot pole. The challenge was to "update a look for a fashion icon." Icons included Jackie O, Madonna, the actresses Hepburn, Pam Grier, et al.

mauser girl - Yeah, I wondered, if they are so closely monitored, where/how he got off from the production to smoke his weed, because he ALWAYS seemed stone. Balefully staring at his fabric for hours, it seemed his synapses weren't firing together. What a mess!

nongirlfriend - did you see Bradley in that hemp store?

kelly - TOTALLY - he needed to be slapped around. I honestly thought he would be sent home instead of Bonnie for making such a hash of the brown trousers. I wonder if he was smoking pot with the crew?
Surely there aren't pothead students at Parson's. *grin*

nuggetmaven - Vincent is straight, even though he SO reminds me of Paul Lynde, and Jeffrey is straight. Kayne is straight, right? *L* Michael seems straight to me, but who knows - they have developed him on the show much.

My theory is they set up Laura as a bitch and Angela as an annoying/insipid bitch (a misrepresentation, I suspect) early so there would be tension carried through the show when they go through to the end. Michael has barely been touched on, so I think he'll ascend in importance as the show progresses. I think the top finishers will be Kayne, Angela, Michael and Laura. I think Robert will be next to go and then Jeffrey.

Oh, and last season - you DIDN'T like Santino Rice? I was besotted with him? He was delightful, clever, and 10 times more intelligent than all the others, plus he had a much more distinctive look. I can't believe that sorry annoying bitch won the season.

Oh, this is really long. You'd think I have an opinion on this show.

I'm not addicted. I can quit this show any time I want to. I just don't want to right now. meh.

Heather B said...

I can't agree with you more about Bradley, I hated his little meek giggle at the end of his interviews ... blahhh!

And for some reason, I really have a crush on the Mattel guy ... even if I guess he is sort of boring :)

phlegmfatale said...

heather b - Yeah, you can totally imagine him with the limp dishrag handshake and tofu breath. Totally lukewarm. Pa-tooey!
Thanks for the belly laugh - I thought your sentence was going to end with "even if he is sort of ...GAY!" I actually think Robert's a handsome guy, and maybe it's manipulative editing, but Robert and Kayne don't seem like mean bitchy queens on the rag. They seem very focused, even if they throw out the occasional catty remark, it's generally well-placed and tension-relieving.