I delight in saying things that are slightly outrageous. I sit back and watch people sputter as they sorta realize what obnoxious thing I just said. It's not often someone turns that around on me.
I was talking to someone yesterday who showed me photos of his children and asked if I had any kids (he's divorced). I said no, that we tried for 6 or 7 years to have children with no success, and finally went to a fertility specialist who did every conceivable (ha!) test and finally told us there was nothing wrong with either of us and no explanation for the lack of offspring.
[what I didn't go on to say was the next step with the specialists would have been fertility treatments for moi, and since I wanted one baby and not a litter, I said ixnay on that shit. my general rule is it's not good to have more at one time than you have nipples for, so I'd have to draw the line at 3, and it would make me sad to shove the extras out of the nest]
He said "well, ya know, if you need someone to step in, well, I'm available. You have really pretty eyes."
My mouth fell open. He said "you're blushing. I guess that's a yes."
You know me, not to be outdone, I said "well, you DO have very pretty children."