Wednesday, August 09, 2006

OK, this is for YOU, lj - here's an explanation of what's on that audio post.

When I was at university, I was forced to take a computer class as part of my degree plan. This was a very basic "what's a CPU?" kind of course, which I had been way beyond for years.

The teacher was a middleaged cornball who was kind of adorable. In his northeastern accent he said things like "you'll want to bring your swimsuit to class because you will be surfing the information superhighway," and "by the end of the semester, you will be able to send and receive email."

I was bored and skipped a lot of classes and missed most of the pop quizzes which were a third of the grade. At semester's end, I calculated that in order to scrape by passing the class with a D, I needed to make a 100 on the final exam. Not 99 - 100. Eek.

So, day of the final exam, I whiz through the first 2 pages, relieved I know everything so far, when there's a rumble in the middle of the class (about 300-350 students.) I go on with my work, by the professor goes up to the middle area to talk with one of his teaching assistants and a student.

Suddenly he says to the group "who in here doesn't have pages 3 & 4 in their exam?). I had them, but about a third of the class raised their hands, indicating they didn't have the middle bit of the test.
He told us to turn in our tests, that everybody was getting a 100.
Whew. Off the hook!


Dick said...

Scammed out on that one! Sweet!

LJ said...

Whoa. The grading lottery! And frankly, I'm amazed that you went to ANY classes where the prof's jokes were that lame.
Poor guy must have had his head up his own hard drive when they passed out senses of humor.
And thank you for the translation on behalf of all the owners of deaf/mute computers!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You really should have bought a lottery ticket or something that day.

FHB said...

Damn! Scandalous! Must have been the teaching assistants ass on that one. That's what happens when you leave shit to be done by someone else. I've had situations where I handed out the wrong test, but then quickly fixed it. Would NEVER just give everyone 100!PREPARATION!

Having said all that, my last math class in college, the teacher told us to study the self test in the back of the book for our upcoming final exam. So while studying, I wrote the answers next to the problems to save myself the trouble of flipping back and forth. Went in to class the day of the exam and she told us to open our books and do the self test. It was our final. Needless to say, best grade I ever got in math in my life.

Bottom line with all of that, we're all lazy fucks at heart. Lazy as hell.

Jay Noel said...

Whoa....did you go to Lazy University?

FHB said...

Naa, but it's tough to fight that basic, elemental drive to seek solace on the couch in front of the wide screen. Particularly when you are supposed to be grading papers.

Anonymous said...

Great story. As a just-returned to University student, I mildly resent those mandatory classes, as they are $1000 a pop!

nongirlfriend said...

Lucky you!

I still have nightmares that I don't graduate from high school and I'm forced to return with my younger brother's class.

phlegmfatale said...

dick - total skin of my teeth!

lj - you're so welcome. It was sheer luck. But the professor was actually an adorable guy - he was very sweet-natured, although I'm sure he wasn't a pushover. I think he MUST have had some teaching assistant's ass on a platter after that. He probably would have preferred to do anything - his specialization in teaching was high-end programming and robotics, so I'm sure it took a lot of energy for him to seem so buoyant about it all. come to think of it, maybe he was being tongue in cheek all along? Anyway, bless him!

barbara - I probably SHOULD have bought one!

fathairybastard - you are SUCH a hardass, but you don't mind skimming through when you get the chance. Weasel!

phoenix - no - I just got really lucky the very one time I needed it most

fathairybastard - I can imagine how mind- numbing paper grading must be for teachers - that's why I always tried to throw in stuff that would wake them up and make them laugh. I invariably aced essay questions

nongirlfriend - yup, total luck! Those WOULD be nightmares.

jacquie - Yeah, I really resented THAT one and a couple others I had to take. eek.