Friday, August 04, 2006

So, I'm still sick and even then I can rely on the likes of nein to wax critical when in a fevered haze I leave a letter or two out of words on a post. All this after nein has enjoyed mining the fertile fields of my demented blog, that fair-weather sampler. Tsk tsk.

Yes, Kelly won. I realized that you might have gotten the impression that everyone in my family is all sweetness and light, so I had to gently introduce the fact that there are some neer-do-wells in the bunch, too. Actually, I have a pretty straight-and-narrow side of the family (paternal) and then there's the wily bunch of criminal hillbilly carpetbaggers on the maternal side, and more than one career criminal in that lot, including the one in prison with that famous Scientologist, Charles Manson. I know. Now, having read my blog, you have rubbed shoulders with greatness, by extension. No need to thank me.

Now Dick, you've got to give Kelly the wet sloppy kisses, k? She already had my great admiration, but now it's just cemented. I love the way you sorta backed into that one, Kelly, thinking it couldn't possibly be right. I just celebrate that there ape-shit galloping lunatics out there who are Scientologists, just to put everything into proper perspective. Well, Travolta and Cruise are obviously apeshit, but then the Manson thing cements that deal. woo hoo.

I saw a license plate going up the Dallas North Tollway today that said ARKITK. I wondered if it was some screwed up way of spelling "Arctic," like maybe they went exploring in their spare time. Oh, and it was on a brand new Corvette. Red.

THEN it dawned on me: Architect. I would think the very exacting nature - that the sense of proper structure of an architect would be outraged by this dumbed-down carbonics version of the name of their esteemed profession.

I don't think I ever will, but if I were considering getting customized license plates, I'd probably get something like CRASS or the name of that incredible band, the CRAMPS. Think the DMV would go for it? I didn't think so, either.

21 comments:

FHB said...

Charles Manson is a Scientologist? Well, that's an endorsement. My plate would read FHB-1. Go figure.

LJ said...

Have you considered the kind of buildings an arkitk might construct? Perhaps missing a support wall? A few bricks short of stability in the foundation? What would the incorrect consonants and vowels translate to?

As to your license plates, I like "CRAMPS" (fair warning to anyone about to pull you over or cut you off in traffic.

And cheating here (this is about your prior entry)Withnail and I? Oh, you've got my heart and soul now! I LOVE that film. Ditto his other role as a crazed ad man in How to Get Ahead in Advertising.

And I hope your flu is departing quickly. Surely West Nile virus would not be stupid enough to mess with you.

David Amulet said...

It seems like half of northern Virginia has vanity plates, so I see crazy ones all the time. I haven't seen a good one lately, the only recent one I recall is INFATU8D.

-- david

nongirlfriend said...

I think the DMV wouldn't get it, honey.

I have a personalized plate because, well, as our friend Nein so gently puts it, I'm an attention whore.

NON-GF

I've had laughs, dirty looks and a carload of 20-something boys chase me because of it.

The latter, I wasn't expecting nor wanting.

Dick said...

I'll hook her up around 3 pm with a big sloppy kiss.
Ya know... She told me her brain was full of useless info, but I'm still amazed by it.

phlegmfatale said...

fhb 1 - Yup, Charles Manson planted his flag in the fallow field of Scientology.

lj - my thoughts precisely - I would be nervous about hiring an arkitk who would tolerat such a structural outrage as that license plate. Suspect there was a trifle of midlife crisis going on there.
YUP, yup, yup, you got it- I'm besotted with Richard E Grant's performance in "Withnail and I." Oh, and you MUST read REG's film diary entitled "With Nails." An excellent, excellent read. Chock-full of belly-laughing stories and at least one thing that made me cry. He writes about working on Withnail, Hudson Hawk (great story), L.A. Story, Bram Stoker's Dracula, and Warlock. Great stuff. Oh, and How to Get Ahead In Advertising is fantastic. A brilliant film. Should be required watching for everyone.

Oh, and even a clock that's stopped is right twice a day.

David - you suppose it's the D.C. element that's sporting the personalized plates?

nongirlfriend - *L* I would have expected yours to say "Chicken." Why would someone give you dirty looks over that? People are retarded. 20 something boys definitely fall into the retarded category, too.

dick - Good on you! Have a nice flight, and y'all have a fun weekend!

Kelly said...

Yeah, that was one of those wild guesses. All the clues fit, but I figured no way in hell it was right. I don't think Manson is a scientologist (I typed scientist, whoops) anymore, but he was at one point. I'll accept my kisses from Dick, no problem. And yes, he is correct, this head is filled with an incredible amount of useless information. One day, I'm going to make money with it, I swear!

As for vanity plates, I admit to having one. My parents bought it for me when I graduated college. It has to do with my career. Do you now have less admiration for me?

Have a good one phlem, and get healthy!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I did not know Charlie had been a Scientologist. See what a great service you are doing here?
I would never get a vanity plate. I don't want anybody memorizing my license plate number.

Hope you continue to improve.

phlegmfatale said...

kelly - good on you! I'm the same way - a repository for useless information. Let me know when you figure out how to capitalize on it
I think vanity plates are fine, I'm just waiting to think up the perfect clever thing that hasn't been done yet

barbara - Yup - he were. Good point about the memorization, 'specially if you're trying to make a clean getaway. Then again, it would be a help if your car got jacked, wouldn't it?

Thanks for the well wishes, kelly and barbara - feeling better this morning.

Thomas J Wolfenden said...

I tried "STFU" with the AZ MVD...

They didn't go for it.

Frobisher said...

Don't forget the chicken soup!

I used to love the Cramps - "Human Fly" & "Surfin Bird" were particular favs. Did you mean Crass the band or just crass?

phlegmfatale said...

ranger tom - I love you for even trying it. STFU would be one I'd like to have. Or Hang up and drive, bitches!

frobisher - THanks - chicken soup is good stuff when you're sicky.
Oh, yeah, I WAS thinking of the band Crass, but figured it was waaaay too obscure a reference for you lot! Good on you. I love the Cramps - ever see them live? They totally rock! I go every time they come to Dallas. Oh, and this reminds me of one of their albums: "Stay sick." Their recording was the definitive version of Surfin' Bird. You know, Frobie - YOU GOT GOOD TASTE!

nongirlfriend said...

They probably didn't like my bumper stickers, either. That's why.

nongirlfriend said...

Oh, and my second choice was "chickn" - "chicken" wouldn't fit.

Anonymous said...

Christ. Another eye test.

Stop it.

I can't even remember what I posted and I avoid it like the plague because, well, you know.

You KNOW. I generally like people that know but they make me nervous. Brenda is getting on my ass in a bad way.

I always wanted to get

nevermind

this is freaking me out, like it always does

Flimsy

phlegmfatale said...

nongirlfriend - today I saw 2 cool custom plates "WOWWEE" AND "DFFRNT". Loved both of those, actually. You really should have gotten BOKBOK. It'd be cute!

nein = Yeah, I KNOW, and you're quite safe here. No need to get all tetchy.

LJ said...

Phelmy..Have read Richard Grant's book - and you can't help but notice that he actually is an upscale version of Withnail, can you?
I laughed from page one to the end.
Fabulous man.

Anonymous said...

Okay, then.

NG was wrong.

Now for that damn test.

phlegmfatale said...

lj [ *L* Yeah,he's very hi-brow. I love the stuffing out of that man - he's so elegant, isn't he? Fabulous, indeed!

nein - uh, I usually agree with NG

Becky said...

I had no idea Charles Manson was now a scientologist. I was going with the Travolta or Leah Remini route.

phlegmfatale said...

Yeah, I think the Scientologists aren't really proud of CM.