Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Dear Celine Dion: I believe that the ugliness of this dress will go on.

I'm trying to imagine what design influences could have addled the dressmaker into concocting such a beastly frock. Here is what I've found in my research. Let me know if you agree.


HollyB said...

She appears to be a woman, fully growed. I want to know who advised her that dress was a good ideer.

Performers often have stylists. This dress begs the question, WHAT was she thinking? Unless, of course, her stylist is a misogynistic man. The all is explained. He takes glee in her public humiliation.

g bro said...

Who the hell is that?

Jeffro said...

Perhaps this was an inspiration as well.

Lin said...

Yep, I like the cross between that Lazy Boy (in a sticky black vinyl) and the gas mask.
And fergawdsakes, is that loose change stuck all over it or are those things tacks holding that monstrosity to her boobs?

Zelda said...

It really does look as if she's wearing a gas mask for a dress.

Christina RN LMT said...

You know those goofy "Groucho" glasses you can get, the ones with the nose and the HUGE moustache?
That's what the dress reminds me of.
The hem of the dress looks like a mouth, with a big ol' moustache, that's eating her. I wish it would do it faster, so I don't have to listen to her sing...

Anonymous said...

You are too kind. The inspirations were: a hammerhead whale, black kelp, Mr. Bubbles, and the lazy-boy.

phlegmfatale said...

holly b - well she may be fully growed, but she obviously has no gay friends. A gay friend wouldn't have let her go out in that thing. Er, except Elton John - he would have, but then again-- he's the competition.

g bro - have amended the text to splain she is Celine Dion

jeffro - I think you may be right!

lin - yeah, definitely loose change. And a few straw wrappers

zelda - ghastly, innit?

christina - I nearly spewed my drink when I read your comment - LOVE it! haw haw haw! Viva Las Christina!

leazwell - On second thought, I think you're right!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I believe you have pretty much nailed it. And I think we all need to be wearing gas masks to view that dress, except that vomiting in a gas mask is ill-advised

Buck said...

Well, I'm NOT qualified to comment, seein' as how I'm stuck-on-sartorial-stupid.

What I really wanna know is... Will we get a game report tomorrow?

phlegmfatale said...

BARBARA - yeah, pukey prospects all around.

buck - Yes, I'll tell about the Stars game on tomorrow's post.

Assrot said...

I think maybe the model that this dress was designed on was much better looking than Celine. Hence the designer thought he had a great looking dress on an average decent looking slighly curvy model.

I think the designer did not take into account that Celine barely rates a 4 out of 10 where 10 is a magnificently beautiful curvaceous woman and 1 is a warthog.

So you get what we see here. A dress that probably looks good on a really hot babe but not so great on a mediocre at best Celine who has more of a manly figure.

Good looking babes make just about anything look good. When you put a below average cow in the same clothes, you get what you see here.

She's a great singer. She is far from good looking and she is nowhere near a fashion model.

If she'd eat a little and grow some curves, maybe the dress would look like it was meant to look.

My 2 cents. We all have different tastes. I can listen to her sing all day. I don't think I could take looking at her for more than an hour or so.



none said...

looks like she is wearing an oversized pimp glove

Ann diPomazio said...

I am seeing a little deflated inner-tube.

Unknown said...

Hahaha -- that Celine dress comment cracked me up:)