Friday, May 25, 2007

Torture for Dummies 101 by Al Quaeda.

Funny, they left out the bit about the ultimate human torture, which is, of course, of the panty-on-head/nekkid-on-leash/nekkid-pyramid/being-pointed-at variety.

Electric cables?
Blow torches?
Pliers & wire cutters?


In the way of all things in this flawed world, our craftily diabolical use of nylon underpants doesn't amount to much, but on the scale of mere human tortures, it's bloody magnificent. Yes, onward we march in our aspiration to dismantle all other govermental structures using one elasticized waistband at a time.


none said...

The ultimate torture would be putting them on Queer eye and getting them makeovers. said...

I saw that...disgusting to think there is that much evil in the world, but I'm not shocked.

phlegmfatale said...

hammer - I could go for that. Feminizing them IS torture, isn't it?

mushy - Yeah, it's vile.

Dick said...

That has to be the lamest torture manual I've seen.
What's way cool?
Running a jig saw from the webbing in between the toes to the back of the foot. It also works great for hands.
The best part? The victim gets to watch, if they don't pass out or have a heart attack.
Don't ask how I know this.

phlegmfatale said...

dick - yeah, it sucks, dunnit, but it's almost gleeful about the torture, and when I compare that to the shit our guys have gotten for mere humiliation, well, it's beyond the pale, innit? I mean, WHO is evil in this picture?

FHB said...

Ya have to wonder where they learned that stuff. Are these ex Saddam torture guys who are keeping their skill sharp, or is it too easy for everyday people to turn into murderous bastards like this? Amazing.

phlegmfatale said...

fathairybastard - Let's hope we never have occasion to have firsthand knowledge of that progression over here.