Friday, May 04, 2007

Leslie & The Lys show was amazing both times. I had a blast attending it with Holly. I'd say 90% of the audience was in their 20s, which means we were frontrunners for the oldest-broads-in-the-house award, but we fought through it and had a good time. Actually, we had great conversations, and it didn't seem like torture to wait, even though Leslie didn't take the stage until midnight.

After the show, I did the groupie thing (Oh, like you didn't already guess!) and I got to meet her. She said "at last we have found each other." Little did I know she was just leading me down a primrose path, strewn with the spangles and sequins from a thousand forgotten gem sweaters. She signed all my crap, including the cd cover, on which she wrote:

mark my beats
we r together at last.

She hugged me tight and squished her spandex-encased body all up against me, and it felt like we had a forever thing going on. I looked adoringly at her as I softly said "I'll see you tomorrow night."

Flash forward to Wednesday night at Double-Wide. I was there, I was primped and cute and ready to take my place as a constellation in Leslie's night sky. But alas, it was not meant to be. I heard Leslie tell another woman "it's all about you, baby!" and Leslie called yet another shameless hussy "sugar-lips." I was crestfallen. I felt like a cheap, gullible groupie audience member as all my dreams of a forever future with Leslie were dashed to the gutter like a corny-dog stick at the state fair midway.

Yes, 24 hours have passed, and I'm older and more mature. Wiser? Oh yes. I've grown as a person and can accept that I must share Leslie with the world. I'm kind of okay with that, but some moments it hurts. But Leslie and me? We'll always have last Tuesday night, and we'll always have Rubber Gloves.


none said...

I've actually caught cats in the act, For some reason beige car carpet is their favorite.

I keep my windows shut these days.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you got crushed but you knew it would happen ... Yes, you did....

phlegmfatale said...

hammer - i'm keeping mine shut, too. Really lots of animals will pee in places not provided by nature. A couple brought their beagle to my house to play with the doglet once, and he hiked his leg and let fly against the edge of my sofa-- and the owners didn't even bat an eye. I was not a happy woman.

Oh, leazwell--why do fools fall in love? Why? Why?

HollyB said...

Ahh, the trail of broken hearted groupies that Woman must have left behind her! Maybe you could start a Support Group?
AS for the trustafarians, they need a swift kick in the pants and then to get kicked to the curb!

Ariel said...

Cat peeing everywhere? Erm, got the problem here but it's not a cat, it's a human! Now intrigued by Leslie and the Lys... who and what?

Ariel said...

I have googled. Oh. My. God. It's Vicky Pollard [off Little Britain TV show] in gold overalls!

Ariel said...

I take that back - it's a cross of the slimming club character AND Vicky Pollard. Now I need to find some audio as this chick sounds hilarious!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Those rock stars can be so cruel, telling you what you want to hear, just to get a squeeze.

Attila the Mom said...


Brilliant!!! LOL

FHB said...

Unrequited groupy love. Sadness. And I keep my own sunroof and windows closed, even in the garage, since the cats will go in. I'm not really afraid they'll pee, as much as what they'll do to the leather seats with those claws.

phlegmfatale said...

hollyb - Leslie just uses and audience and casts them aside. But I still love her.
Oh, and I'd love to show a rude person the door.

ariel - she's actually smarter and sweeter than Vicky Pollard (whom I adore), but she is well similar!

barbara - yeah, that's it- I was just a passing fancy. *sigh*

atilla - it IS a good work innit?

fathairybastard - yup - I'm a groupie, thrown out on the trashheap of histoire, helas!
Yeah, I'm keeping mine closed from now on!

RobC said...

My cats pee in the bath or shower when it is too wet outside.
I notice our latest addition is showing great intrest in the toilet, maybe she can be a loo trained feline. It would save on kitty litter.

Becky said...

I like the "trustafarian" name -- I went to school with many of them at TCU.

And your tenant's an asshole, but you already knew that:)