[This is an ancient draft I found in me blog. The second line mystifies me - I think my evil twin has been horning in on my blog and leaving little calling cards to surprise me]
Universal truths that ensure an unbreachable gulf between me and Martha Stewart:
I am to pastels as to she is to hooker pads.
I will never, ever host a clam bake.
[WHAT on earth, I wonder, did I mean by "hooker pads?" Anyone have any theories for me?]