Monday, September 04, 2006


One of my earliest forays into the world of employment involved a stint checking groceries at Winn-Dixie supermarket.

After closing, the stocker guys would all be busy re-stocking all the shelves, and their night was just beginning as I would tidy up the registers and clean all the front of the store. One more of my duties was to return all non-sold items throughout the store to their appropriate area.

One thing the guys liked to do was make crafty arrangements of fruit to surprise me with when I walked through the produce department, generally involving 2 peaches, some parsley and a banana. They'd be busting a gut trying to not react so they could see my moral outrage. Instead I'd quip something like someone's missing out on a brilliant career in the art world, where they could be drawing, painting or photographing the male genitalia all they liked.

Here's a universal truth I'm certain even Martha Stewart would agree with:
Bananas have no graceful way of fitting into a fruit basket. Leave the bananas out.

6 comments:

Ranger Tom said...

Ah, gotta love the sophomoric antics of the teenage boy...

Someday I'll outgrow it myself.

phlegmfatale said...

what's sad is that it's probably the most mature humor they'll ever be capable of. Still, I chuckle when I remember that. I also remember those guys laughing about farting in the giant freezer at the back of the store. They were probably the guys who made Porky's a hit film.

Fathairybastard said...

You know, I had no clue before you mentioned the banana thing. Didn't see it. I had to really look at the basket for a few seconds before it materialized. Now, of course, it's all I can see there. Thanks. I guess I just don't see phallic fruit without prompting.

Having said that, on the trip through the Grand Canyon last October, there's a point on the trip when you turn a corner and there, on the side of the canyon, is a massive vagina spread out for your amusement. We all saw it simultaneously, and then the jokes began. "Hey look, there's a huge Gash up there in the rock."

LJ said...

You know, some people never grow out of that stuff. And because of that - I always eat bananas by breaking off a piece at a time. It's less likely to cause people to revert to grade school associating...
But yes. You can leave them out of my fruit baskets.

Tickersoid said...

When it comes to bananas and fruit, I know a lot of gay men who like a big firm hand on their plumbs.

*groan*

Meg Nakagawa said...

Bananas rock!