Sunday, June 08, 2008

So, the first night she was here, doglet rolled and tumbled down the rather long staircase in the dark. Poor thing. I shoulda knowed my day was coming.

After the 14 steps down, there's a landing with 3 steps down to the concrete floor in my apartment.

So, um, I had an exhausting day Saturday speaking to tour groups outdoors for hours. It was really hot out, but at least there was a nice, dry breeze. Anyhoo, it was great to get home and into the A/C. I went upstairs and changed out of my sweaty clothes and kicked off my boots, leaving on my socks. Doglet was outside and yelping to be let back in, so I went downstairs in my sockfeet. (you know what's coming, right?) I let her in and she squirted past and down the 3 steps to the concrete floor, narrowly avoiding being stepped on by yours truly. Well, I didn't seat my foot squarely on the step, and it shot out from under me, making me fall onto the top of that foot on the next step and (I believe) breaking my middle toe. Yowch.

But wait! There's more!
So then I completed my trajectory down to the concrete floor, where I landed in a position which I think would defy the minds which crafted Yoga and Kama Sutra. I landed on my left hip and right knee simultaneously. I don't know how that's possible, and I think I couldn't get into that position again for any amount of money. I dunno, splits? In that instant of exquisite agony, my mind flashed "damn! what hurts worst?" Actually, that moment, the hip was the real kicker, followed closely by the knee and then the broken toe, which I thought might be several broken toes.

Anyway, it was terrible. I had to lay down and take a nap-- if I didn't move, things didn't seem to hurt so much. Now the worst is my knee, then the toe, and the hip doesn't hurt at all- nice when the padding does what it's sposta.

Anyway, there went my industrious Saturday night I'd planned, riding waves of domestic zeal and whatnot. Oh well, I'll clean and organize tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day, and it'll feel better then, right?


I think I already posted Naked Girl Falling Down the Stairs by the Cramps. I seem to remember feeling slightly embarrassed that Dad would see Lux Interior on my blog, even though he was on very good behaviour in that video, albeit in a red latex jumpsuit, patent leather pumps and a full complement of makeup.

At least I wasn't naked.


Christina RN LMT said...

I'm so sorry, Phlegmmy! I hope you feel better soon.

Ice packs are good...:)

phlegmfatale said...

christina - thanks, honey! I KNEW there was a reason I bought that extra pack of frozen peas! handy.

Anonymous said...

Wow, when you do it you really DO IT!

I hope you feel better asap. Rest and take good care of yourself.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

How can you possibly be so funny and clever when you are in pain like that? I wish you rapid healing and belief in the power of the frozen peas (of which I always have a bag in the freezer as well).

Thud said...

Are you ok?....still in one piece?

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the pain and agony, kiddo. Vicodin seems to help House. I'm just sayin'.

Buck said...

Dang. That sure read painfully, and I'm sure the reality exceeded the narrative.

I hope you feel better today, Phlegmmy.

NotClauswitz said...

Technically you wouldn't have been naked if you were wearing those shoes, but get well so's you can. ;-)