Thursday, March 06, 2008

Two days ago, my sister walked out to her little hotrod in the grocery parking lot with nephew.

An older black lady followed nearby and Sis thought this lady couldn't possibly be driving the hot Corvette in the next berth-- after all, only middle-age white guys drive Corvettes, right?

The lady pulled her grocery cart up to the Vette and opened up the back.

Sis: wow! I didn't know the back opened up like that - what a cool car!

Lady: Yes, and I'm really enjoying it.

Sis: I can't imagine paying for one of those, but it must be so wonderful to drive. Do you drive fast all the time? I'd have to drive it fast.

Lady: Oh, I don't drive fast, I just enjoy driving it. I wouldn't have it if I'd had to pay for it, but I won it on The Price Is Right.

Sis: Really? Get out!

Lady: Yes, I sure did!

Sis: I've never known anyone who was on that show!

Lady: Well, I always wanted to be on that show, and I heard Bob Barker was leaving, so I went out to see it in person one time, and they got me up on stage and I was in the Showcase Showdown and the guy before me won a Grand Am, and I was about to say 'I'll take the dining set.' So Bob Barker said "how would you like to take Route 66 in a brand new 2006 Corvette?!!!" And there it was.

Sis: That's so exciting! Did you scream? Were you really happy?

Lady: They almost had to carry me out of there. I was so glad I didn't win that ugly dining set.


Christina RN LMT said...


(Ugly) dining room set or Corvette?

Let me think...

Corvette, duh!

A lady I used to work with won a new Saturn a few years back, simply by cashing her paycheck at a casino (the casinos use all kinds of prizes and incentives to lure people to cash their checks there...long live direct deposit!)

Other than that, I don't know anyone who's won anything big, and I certainly never met anyone who'd been on a gameshow. That is really too cool!

And if I ever won anything? They'd hear me screaming on the ISS!!

Don said...

That's great for her, but I'm imagining the guy who got stuck with a Grand Am and then watched the little old lady from Pasadena take off with her Z06.

Years ago, there was a feature in one of the Mustang magazines that was supposed to give advice on beating all the other cars out there. Some of it was good--"This model has no bottom-end torque, so get off the line and do not spin the tires or you're done."

Some of it was not so good--"Frankly, the new Volvo 850's are becoming pretty fast cars, so your best chance is to line up on the left and hope the torque-steer from the front-wheel drive forces him to choose between slowing down or hitting parking meters."

But the advice on taking a new Corvette with your Fox-body mustang was classic:

"Racing the new Corvettes is all about preparation and laying the groundwork for a successful run. When your opponent pulls up, there are three good ways to win the race before it starts:
1. Ask "Is that the new Miata?"
2. Inform your opponent politely that his hairpiece is askew. Leave the line while he's fixing it.
3. If your opponent has his wife in the car, look her over and ask her politely whether her father ever lets her drive the Corvette.

(Obviously I've paraphrased all this.)

phlegmfatale said...

christina - I'd say you made the right choice!

don gwinn - I love the stuffing out of that comment. Especially the bits about the toupee and the wife/father bit. Cute!

Rabbit said...

Geez. The only thing I ever won was a new bicycle when I was in the 4th grade. Of course, it was a cool bike, and getting my picture in the paper hacked off a ton of Shreveport kids when a kid from Texas on a school-clothes buying daytrip beat them all.


Aaron said...

I guess that means I either have to put off gettinge a 'vette for another ten or fifteen years or tell my wife she can't have the mustang she wants...

Any bets on which way that'll go?

Buck said...

What a great story! But not driving a Vette fast?


The Second Mrs. Pennington used to scare the Beejeezus out of me in hers. It got to the point where I'd refuse to ride with her in it. "Fast" doesn't scare all. But merging on to a Deetroit freeway at nearly 100 mph and accelerating sure as Hell did. Her constant maniacal giggling while driving that thing didn't help matters, either.

phlegmfatale said...

rabbit - won a bike off some cajuns? No wonder you're so confident! Been riding that wave for how long, now? Well done! I'd say winning a bike when you're a kid means more than winning a car when you're a grown-up kid-- no taxes.

aaron - I say do what pleases you, man. Enjoy yourself. Don't let cliches steal your joy.

buck - I'm betting her constant maniacal giggling is part of the reason you married that wild thing!

none said...

That is an awesome story. I've always dreamed of winning on that show.

phlegmfatale said...

hammer - I can remember watching it as a little kid, and guessing the prices of common household items like dishwashing liquid and furniture polish. I always have imagined they choose contestants based on their ability to get all lathered up over products.

Anonymous said...

How cool! I bet she gets a lot of odd looks, driving the speed limit and all. I'd find me a road out in the hills, we have 'em here in Ar., and let her rip. I'm giddy with laughter just thinking about it.

Very cool.

Anonymous said...

LOL do you remember watching the crestfallen expressions on the faces of the people with the crappy prizes! You could just see the disappointment in their eyes!

phlegmfatale said...

lainy - Yeah, that's got to look suspicious! I dunno, I'm no speed freak. I like getting places alive and in one piece. Call me boring.

kvegas911 - Yeah, that had to really suck - to be at the door of actually winning something fabulous for nothing (or, for taxes, anyway) and then to find you have "won" something you find repugnant. Or worse -the booby prize.