Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Sunday I knocked my cell phone off the counter when I was opening up a can of food for the doglet, and afterward, the speakers wouldn't work at all. It was a Palm Treo which I could hotsync with my desktop and exchange Outlook calendar stuff, so it was kind of a pain to think of going to a lot of trouble to (mostly) pay for a new phone and also to take the time to buy one, etc. Turns out, my timing was perfect. I got the new Palm Centro which is much smaller, much lighter and infinitely faster on the internet, which is very cool. The case is a pearly white and is much cuter than the 18 month old practically Jurassic Treo. I also paid $40 extra for 2 g of memory, so now I've got ipodish action, woohoo!

Learn from my mistake:

Before you go in to a place to change out your cell phone, be sure and remove any images or whatnot you wouldn't want someone else to see. For example, one day last year a few minutes after he face-planted in the middle of Ervay street, I happened by a body just as the first DPD officer arrived. Not wanting to be rude and sit there ogling the body, I snapped a photo with my phone.

Yes, I know snapping the image was horrible, and probably ruder than sitting there staring at the dead drug dealer would have been (I'd driven by the very same guy doing a hand-off with a crack-whore about 3 hours earlier, ironically - I'm sure it was totally legitimate - they were probably swapping high-value Scrabble tiles, xes and js being hard to come by but point-rich).

Yes, I've fancied some might be offended by my pocket-morgue, but mostly I haven't thought about carrying around the image of a dead drug dealer for the past 10 or so months. Then again, this may have caused an imbalance of chi in the phone-shui, tipping the little devil off the counter. I admit that my level of humor is sometimes on par with an 8-year old boy (hey- pull my finger!), but I certainly haven't gone around at soirees and real-estate viewings saying "Hey-- wanna see a dead guy?"

SO.... I'm sitting at the desk with the phone guy at the store, and he's whipping through the spiel ninety-to-nothing, and he says "and we'll just beam your old images from the Treo over to the Centro" and as he talked, he's flipping over to images and starts the beaming thing, and I was horrified because he flipped past Mr. Dedaz A. Tater several times.

Eek! Will there be an incident? Will I be in trouble? Ruh roh, raggy.

So, if you don't learn from my mistake and find yourself in this woeful predicament, do what I did here:

Wait a minute-- I'm a hair's breadth from ruling the planet-- what do I have to be afraid of? I fixed him with my most intense Morticia Addams stare and did a Vulcan mind-beam of these are not the droids you're looking for.

He never noticed the dead guy.
Mischief managed.
Yays! They Might Be Giants concert at House Of Blues tonight.
*Smug mode*


Christina RN LMT said...



D'you really think it was bad ju-ju?

Maybe you captured his soul by taking the picture, and your old phone was haunted...and now the evil spirit has been transferred to your NEW phone!


The horror! Where are the ghostbusters when you need them, dammit?!

phlegmfatale said...

christina - Yeah, I snorted myself when I came up with that one. No, I am almost wholly without superstition and don't believe in bad juju. As it turned out, he fiddled with the phones and there were too many files to transfer, so they didn't all beam over. Dead dude was among the ones that didn't make the leap. I suppose I'm happy about that.

Anonymous said...

Funny! Yes a haunted phone. Oh those spirits!;)

Turk Turon said...

There is a very funny photo-of-a-dead-body piece of business in the Robert Altman movie "Short Cuts". Very similar pre-digital situation. I got a Blackberry a month ago. I was reluctant but I'm glad I did.

DBA Dude said...

How come there were too many files? surely a newer model would have a larger capacity?

Sounds like alls well that ends well with the extra ipodish action.

Joe said...

I got a new Treo a few months ago. At that time the Centro was not available for my service. Now it is. Do you like it?

Anonymous said...

Don't believe in ju-ju huh? Well, Mr. Tater took advantage of the file transfer you see. As the files entered the ether he said to hizself "now's my chance to get away from this freeky geeky" and fled. And now he's floatin' around somewhere in Dallas lookin' for a home. Best be careful phlemmy.

Thud said...

who says manners are dead?..ha!

Rabbit said...

I switched phones last month, coming from an ancient Samsung to a Moto Razr. I figured since they were phasing out the line of service I had, it was an opportune time, not to mention I'd had it for about 5 years. I used it for a phone- no email, no Net connectivity, just old-style talking to someone on the other end. When I got the new Moto, I found out it does all kinds of cool stuff...bought the Motorola Phone Tools kit and started hacking it. Scary what you can do with such a simple thing these days. Now I've got all kinds of pics of doggies and kitties, not to mention all the tweaks I've done to it.

Oh, I also backed up the whole phone to my PC and got a 2gb memory chip for it (19$ at Micro Center, BTW). That way I can restore everything when I goof up, and I've got lots of room for pics of all the weird stuff I run across on a day to day basis.


Buck said...

I remain a Luddite... my phone is used simply as a phone. But then again, considering where I live, there's not much else to use one of these devices for...

Still and even, I was amazed: two gigs of memory in a freakin' phone? I paid about $300.00 for my first-ever hard drive, an after-market acquisition for my dual-floppy IBM PC, and it had ALL of ten MB... that would be megabytes... of capacity. Yeah, I AM old...why do you ask? ;-)

none said...

I broke my cell phone on suday as well. I guess I'll have to get rid of all the midget porn before I hit the sprint store ;)

FatQuarterQuiltFarm said...

Thanks for the PEARLY WHITE now I'm singing "mack the knife" which I suppose is semi- appropriate since we are talking about a body just oooooozin life...New phone looks dandy.. say I'm the only bee in your bonnet, make a little birdhouse in your soul and have fun at the concert.( I'm jealous!)

Lin said...

I'm with Buck - my cell phone is just a phone ... and even that is an overwhelming technological prospect.

Thank you - I'm STILL cracking up over the Morticia mind-meld moment.

Zelda said...

That is a hilarious story. When I finally meet you I must see it.

My picture story is slightly more typical. I completely forgot I'd taken a nekkid shot of myself. To this day I don't remember doing it. But I did, and I was flipping through my pictures showing my friend's brand-new fiancee the ones of my children, when up comes the nekkid shot. When you know someone else is looking at it, suddenly you're not as hot as you've imagined you are.

NotClauswitz said...

But, but, I do wanna see the deadguy, dammit I missed the one they fished out of the lake in front of my 5th Grade dorm at boarding school...

phlegmfatale said...

lainy - well, if it's haunted, it's a good thing it's broken so I have an excuse to get another fresh, unoccupied one.

turk turon - I'll have to check that. Yeah, there are so many fabulous features on those kinds of phones, despite the drawbacks. I think the trade-off is worth it

dba dude - I had too many photos/films to transfer monolithically - it could only transfer so much information in one go. Yeah, I haven't even read the manual yet or figured out all the features. Mainly that would be because I got another, fabulouser new toy on Friday...

hoosierboy - Yes, I love it, but the controls are markedly different, so I'm having to re-learn how to use it. I'll get there.

myron - HEE HEE! I think luck was not a factor with Mr. Tater- he put himself in an environment where that outcome had a greater likelihood than it would have if he'd tried doing something productive with himself.

thud - *hee*

rabbit - golly - 5 years? amazing. Yes, it's amazing how much power you can carry around in such a small computer. WHat I've enjoyed most was the ability to post something on my blog when I'm traveling, or to update my comment moderation. It's a whole new ballgame. I've heard the Razr is really neat, and they look great -so compact and sleek.

buck - well, you're like other high-tech engineers who aren't easily impressed with all the new gadgetry, and I can understand. Yup, on my PHONE! Very cool to have that kind of memory capability.

hammer - WoW - maybe there WAS something in the air!

schnoobie - That's so funny - I didn't even think of the MTK connection. Thanks - now _I_ will be singing it! Oh, and you're the only bee in my bonnet!

lin - I love that I gave you a giggle with my antics. Sometimes I dazzle myself with my own silliness.

zelda - I'll try to make sure it's on hand when I meet you. OMG - the nekkid shot story - how moritfying!!! Yeah, it's amazing how on-the-hot-seat you can feel when you're with an unsympathetic audience. Sheesh!

dirtcrashr - I'll email it to you sometime. :P

Matt G said...

I missed a (fairly) local TMBG concert?