Monday, August 06, 2007

OK, this stuff is officially whupping up on yours truly, oh my darlings. Looked up West Nile Virus, and did a mini-freakout that I have all those symptoms except the rash. Delightful. My abdomen is so shredded by now that the only way I can cough is to curl up in a ball and help squeeze.

I've never been admitted to a hospital for anything in my life, but I thought sure I'd be going there before this weekend ended.

Mom called and left me a voice mail and said she knew without me telling her that the bastard (my word, not hers) shouldn't preach my funeral. She said she suspected his services would not be required anyhoo.

I swear I'm not normally a drama queen.

I'm like my dad, mostly. Dad had the flu once on a road trip when the alternator went out. What to do? Needs must. Dad changed that alternator in between bouts of projectile vomiting á lá Linda Blair, and all the while a passenger was haranguing him to get the car fixed. Then he got back in the car and completed the 10 hour drive.

So, anyway, if I take after pop at all, I'll kick this stuff's ass eventually. Unlike my father, though, I do reserve the right to whine about it. And I'll certainly be giving a piece of my mind to that jerk at my doctor's office. And I'll not be available in the immediate future for any alternator repairs.

That is all.


Christina RN LMT said...

Phlegm, you've GOT to take care of yourself!
Dammit, I count on you to provide me with reading material, and since I'm so important, you must get better.
Self-centered, Moi?!
Seriously, though, I really hope you rapidly improve, being so sick sucks the big donkey schlong.
Stay out of the won't feel better if you go there, hopefully you'll get the (miracle?) Tamiflu soon (even if your doc is an asshole).

Anonymous said...

Mom said the B word???? Have you tried the meds that knock you out? I like those. get well, A

Ambulance Driver said...

Virtual chicken soup headed your way. ;)

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you as my head is about to pop off my shoulder's from all the coughing. Yep, my dear sweet husband decided I should get it to. I understand Phlemgy. The a /c is out and I'm running 102.3 temp.
I hate summer sickness! Just kill me now.

phlegmfatale said...

christina - hopefully I'll be back to my usual vigorous snark momentarily. Sick time always feels like time lost...

sis - no - I said "my word, not hers" in the text. Mom didn't say "bastard"

ambulance driver - I've virtually consumed the soup - thanks!

lainy - sheesh! Wow. Bless you, hon. You've got to be miserable. I hope your a/c is back up right away!

Flo said...

Y'all are making me sick just reading about it. Get better soon!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are entitled to some drama queenery when you are that sick, so have at it. My alternator will just have to wait until you are well, I guess.

I hope you can get some decent medical attention today.

Anonymous said...

sorry I missed that, the ideer of her cussing just gets me all excited a

Heather said...

Hi there Love,
Just wanted to say hello and that I am BACK to the world of blogging.

New name, same issues.

Can't wait to hear from you!

Heather B

g bro said...

Get well, dammit!
- Gumby