Saturday, August 25, 2007

Dear Monsieur Louboutin:

Dude, you are stone-cold killing me. If you insist on making shoes I can't afford, please don't make me fall in love with them. Either that, or please grant me special dispensation to lick the display at Saks Fifth Avenue without getting arrested.

At $695, the Miss Fred Tacco Boots with the gold piping, golden spike heel and ribbon laces are almost within reach if I give up feeding the dog and electricity. However, if I'm going to splurge on rather expensive shoes, the patent leather is simply not practical for frequent wear, alas.

Then there is the not inconsiderable matter of the Practique Corta Platform Pumps which make my heart go pitter-pat. Oh, you naughty boy. These shoes are a Mistress Elvira-cum-Minnie Mouse meets Harajuku dream-come-true. $790? Not doable. *sigh*

Finally we must consider my over-fondness for mary-janes which is sent singing by these Mad Mary Suede Mary Janes, and let's see if we can fit one more Mary into this sentence, shall we? Cute doesn't begin to cover it. Amazingly, the black suede is a slightly more forgiving surface than the patent leather so this pair is eminently more practical, but darling! $865 is not even in the ballpark.

Let us review:

  • These shoes are glorious
  • I can't afford these shoes yet
  • You are a mean and nasty man
  • Please make uglier shoes that don't make my heart ache


HollyB said...

I lust in my heart for the first and last pair of shoes. But when the balls of my feet noticed how high those heels were, they said to my fashion sense, "Try it, Bitch, and we will KILL you!"

Flo said...

I'd offer to split the cost for a pair, but we'd probably fight over custody. And half is still a touch over my budget for a pair of shoes I'd be sharing.

Clarinazi said...

Be still my heart!!! (with a price-tag dagger stuck through it!)

Let's in a box under the interstate and eat Ramen thrice a week...maybe then the top pair will become mine!

Jay Noel said...

Those are shoes???

They look like weapons that belong in a ninja's arensal.

Lin said...

Ohhh .. those are tasty! I once had a noted photo-realism artist wanting me to model a pair of vamp flaming red high heels for his new work. I declined - you can't outrun a lusting artist in a pair of those jobbies.

FHB said...

Very stylin' babe. But how the hell do you walk around in those heels?

Christina RN LMT said...

Sorry, except for the platform shoes, I think I'd be in agony after wearing either of the other pairs for five minutes or less.

They certainly look hot, though.

Since I have to eat, not to mention feed my child, I think I'll pass!

I also wanted to add, apropos your latest comment on my blog, that anytime you manage to make it to Las Vegas, the massages will be on the house, no tipping required!

Joe said...

Are you saying my Kleenex box shoes are not stylish?

LJ said...

I would give up one or two dearly held principles and possibly a hand for the first pair. But they want money, right? Darn.