Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Here we go. There's always gotta be some kook who thinks they've got it all figured out, and they won't be happy until everyone else is pinching a loaf about our imminent destruction. Seriously - there are even losers who spend a lot of time and energy organizing/attending "prophecy conferences" - can you believe that? What a waste.

There's one big bunch of fraidy-cats who are freaked out about today's date 06/06/06. Well, here's a bulletin, Einstein: Today's date is 06/06/2006. You're overlooking some numbers there. I don't think the world will end today, and even if it did, I think Slim Pickens had the right sort of "ride it hard & put it up wet" philosophy about it. Que sera, sera, bitches!

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can change,

to accept the things I cannot change,

and the ammunition to make the difference.

When I was in 8th grade in 1979, there was a doomsday cult that determined a particular date that Fall was the end of the world as we knew it, and of course, we all had the fear of being nuked by Russia at any moment. We'd just come through a fake "oil crisis" and Americans decked out in "I'm with Stupid" t-shirts and flipflops were being held hostage in Iran. A liqui-shit-storm of apocalyptic mojo seemed quite plausible, actually.

The little old ladies working in the cafeteria at school were clucking like a bunch of hens, jumpy as shit, and freaked out in general. A couple trumpet players from the band decided to give them a little treat. They crept to the back corner behind the serving ladies and tuned up the most celestial-sounding fanfare they could muster, and a shocked silence swept the room, then a wave of nervous laughter when everyone figured out what was going on. The old ladies had a litter of kittens each, and the world kept on turning.

See you tomorrow.


10 comments:

nongirlfriend said...

Honey, where's my Mexican Chicken pic? Hurry, before I am fired and cannot afford this DSL satellite wireless shit that I have...-

Anonymous said...

Seller's character having alien hand syndrome was a fantastic touch. Watching him sent me into fits of laughter.

phlegmfatale said...

OK, I'll get it together, I promise. I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

leazwell - Sellers was an astonishing talent. Wish he hadn't died so young. What a freak! Loved him. Did you see Geoffrey Rush playing Peter Sellers in that HBO movie? Brilliant portrayal.

Tam said...

Yay! A still from my second favorite movie!


"Colonel... 'Batguano'... if that is your name."

If the boys at Burpelson AFB are on the ball, 06/07/06 should dawn bright and sunny. :)

Perplexio said...

I love Dr. Strangelove as well! I think one of my favorite scenes is when the President gets into the telephone argument with the Soviet Premier over who is more sorry.

LJ said...

Figure if you aren't going to do something constructive - or at least discuss something constructive, then you should leave alone and not add to the contamination of negative thought and fear that is probably the worst of the problems facing our mad little species at the moment.
And by the way - I'm of a generation that was taught - in the case of nuclear attack - "duck, tuck and cover". I still crack up everytime I think about it.
It's now my safety motto for everything from bird flu to t-word attacks. See? What a girl scout. Always prepared! That way I don't have to run around worrying about all of it.
Loved this entry PF!

phlegmfatale said...

tam - YEAH! Wasn't PETAH just the most fabulous thing? Any man that canny and intense has got to be sexay! WOOHOO! The sun'll come out tomorrow!

perplexio - Great stuff. Dr. Strangelove could be a blog all its own! Classic, hilarious, riveting.

lj - Good point! Yeah, about the duck and cover thing - South Park lampooned that beautifully, showing little skeletons rolling under waves of lava. Glad you enjoyed it!

Kelly said...

I must be the only one with the brains sometimes. I mentioned to my coworkers this morning that the world didn't end on 6/6/1906, 6/6/1806, etc.

Their reply?

"Oh....yeah...."

nongirlfriend said...

Like a chicken with its head cut off?

I'm sorry. But that was too apropos.
I had to laugh.

phlegmfatale said...

o.g. - boy, you really know how to take the wind out of someone's sails, don't you? *L* Trust you to be the voice of reason when none is to be found!


nongirlfriend - You know all about chickens, though, don't you?