Monday, June 19, 2006

By the way - to all the lovely folks on my blog roll - I've been busier than a one-armed paper hanger lately, so I've not made it round to all of you, but I hope to get back in circulation sometime this week. STILL love all of you, of course!

Flipping thru my dvr yesterday, I found (SURPRISE!) it unintentionally recorded part of the Britney Spears/Matt Lauer interview from last week, so I watched half-assedly whilst working on a creative project.

Yeah, Britney's floppy fake eyelash was totally defeating me. It was like - omg - why not groom/act/dress like total white trash while denying you ARE white trash?! This girl is removing all doubt that she is a packaged product who had no creative control or drive in her career trajectory. She's a product who has been molded according to the desires of focus groups and entertainment executives, and nothing else.

She's gonna crash and burn and if she lives long enough, the come-clean tell-all when she's trying to re-launch her career as an old sad half-used-up has-been at the age of 30 is going to be super ugly. I'm feeling sadder for her by the minute.

Does anyone remember the MTV awards where Britney and Christina Aguilera performed with Madonna, and M kissed Christina on the mouth, a quick, barely happened sort of kiss, and then B & M mugged down? Funny, much was made of that moment, the big kiss and all, and Christina sort of shrank (sp?) into the wallpaper while the other two acted nasty. It's funny how ironically smart Christina now seems for not taking advantage of a potentially outrageously dramatic moment. Oh, and never mind that Christina was the only one with real singing chops on stage that night. I guess she didn't have to resort to gimmicky theatrics to have appeal. But I'm chasing rabbits, aren't I?

Oh, and the shit about child endangerment - totally overblown. The driving with the kid on her lap was stupid, admittedly, but the nearly falling could have happened to anyone, even without platform sandals and a cocktail in the other hand. Who among us could pass the test of this level of scrutiny? None, I'm thinking. The mere fact that she is mobbed by media everywhere she goes would make a person screw up in ways they wouldn't normally.

The question we all need to ask ourselves is after the media have cooked up needle-after-needle-full of Britney mania, and all the while the public helped by holding the spoon, why are the media they so eager to depose her as an American icon? People need to wise up and realize what a fickle whore the media are. Remember what John Lydon said at the beginning of the Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK": Ever get the feeling you're being cheated? We are definitely being cheated, but if we are so stupid collectively, maybe we deserve it. After all, they are not going to give us a true and genuine thing if we can be sated with the patently false and contrived.

Regarding types like Matt Lauer/Katie Couric/blah blah blah celebrity "infotainment" presenters, I give you my take on that. I think there are millions of people sitting home who simply do not get out much, and they see "perky" Katie and pretty boy Matt and they eventually come to think these little people in their televisions are speaking to them, personally, and that they are having a personal relationship with these overpaid poncey shit-for-brains. (Um, WHY are they called "talking heads?") Like I said to my friend Liz on the phone yesterday, "If you get hit on the head with a hammer enough times, eventually you'll just go with it and start bleeding." Hence, love of the tv "talent."

Ew, I just kinda puked in my mouth when I included the word "talent" in that paragraph.
Have a great week.


Tickersoid said...

Britney. My first impression was to muse whether her career or her breasts would prove to be the more durable.

Jay Noel said...

You consider Matt Lauer a "pretty boy?"

Christina has got so much singing talent. Maybe she's dropped the slutty phase and decided to let her singing speak for itself.

Kelly said...

Britney is total trailer trash, not sure if she's always been that way, or what's up. As for hitting rock bottom, she may have already. I kind of feel bad for her in a way, but not really.

As for Lauer, Couric, Oprah, Dr. Phil et al...they're in it for the story and the ratings, nothing more. They could care less about John Q. Public. There's a reason I don't and won't watch that crap.

chuck said...

Which is why we call it the entertainment INDUSTRY...because it is 'manufactured'.

Still, there are some good isn't all crap...just mostly.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

There's just so much garbage on tv, in magazines, in the music industry, that when I find something genuine and worthy I am so grateful. It shouldn't have to be like that, though.

phlegmfatale said...

tickersoid - you have to ask that question? Anthropologists will be able to dig her up in 1000 years and they won't know who she was, but they'll be able to cross-check references on the serial numbers of her Dow-Corning implants. Who says you can't have great tits forever?

phoenix - _I_ don't consider Matt Lauer a pretty boy, but I'm sure a lot of his fans do. I consider Matt Lauer a pussy, not to impugn the female genitalia in any way.

o.g. I do feel sorry for her and I certainly hope she's invested her millions well. They may seem like an excess of money, but she could live another 50 years, and millions trickle out pretty fast when there's no inflow to replenish funds.

chuck - well said.

nongirlfriend - I think she's a tragedy because artistically, where does she really have to go? Madonna has found a way of constantly re-packaging the same-old-shit and selling it as fresh product, and her fans know the dance and enjoy their little codependent game. She's a freak, and Britney will have nothing like Madonna's shelf life or enduring appeal.

MY advice to Britney would be to buy rights to everthing Cathy Dennis writes for the next 3 years, and she'll have more hits. Cathy wrote the brilliant "Toxic" and "Can't get you out of my head" for Kylie Minogue. She's got a gift for hooks, and those two songs would have been a hit no matter who recorded them, with half-way decent musicians and studio staff.

barbara - yeah, it's distressing. And small bands you love who have a cult following - well, you wish big=time success and fame would come their way, and in another way, you wish the world would ignore them, because the world in general is unworthy of brilliance!
I always felt that way about Killing Joke. It's too good and too profound for people in general to handle.

Becky said...

I saw this interview, too, and have to admit that I did feel a little sorry for her. I've tripped and dipped my nieces down like that before, only I didn't have 50 cameras on me nor do I have mobs of papparazzi beating on my car. And then I'd get distracted by those gigantic mammaries and accent that was far stronger than the clips of when she was 17. Still, if she really wanted to shed her fame, she's move somewhere more obscure than LA or NYC.

phlegmfatale said...

becky - EXACTLY about the balance thing with little kids - they wiggle and squirm and frankly can be a colossal pain in the ass if you're trying to remain upright. Those Native American women were really onto something when they bundled the little shits into a back pack and carried them utterly immobilized for a year or two. Ah, well I've heard in the news recently she may be heading to Namibia. Someone should warn them.

Zelda said...

The only thing the entertainment establishment likes better than building an icon is tearing one down. It's hard to pay attention anymore.

Joe said...

When I was in high school I worked as a janitor after hours. During a remodelling they replaced the wallpaper, the work was done in the evenings after office hours.

The guy who hung the wallpaper only had one arm. You see now why that phrase always cracks me up.

phlegmfatale said...

zelda - good point - I HATE that - it's so hypocritical and they probably think they are objective, ya know?

hoosierboy - Wow - that's amazing. So you may be uniquely situated to answer this question: HOW busy was he?