Friday, April 14, 2006



Ah, the sylvan pleasures of the countryside! The nightly ritual of heavily scrutinizing all one's private bits to remove any passengers which may have hitched a ride on your person for the day. Ticks and chiggers carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, Lime (lyme?) disease and other manner of pathogens, and they are disgusting. Grandpa used to pick them off himself after deep-woods hunting excursions and then he'd drop them into a mason jar of alcohol he kept on the bureau. That's a bit strange, don't you think? Could it be that my morbid curiosity stems from an early exposure to such icky things? Anyway, just as I was thinking "wow, I'd really love to live in the middle of the woods and have a huge wild sort of garden, and just order delivery of wine and cheeses of the world, and heigh ho! What's that itch on my ankle? Ew. Big evil tick." Not on my watch, bucko.

Fun Tick Project:

You will need:
1 Candle, burning
1 pin or needle
1 or more ticks

Pull the tick off your dog/cat/arse alive and wriggling
Touch the head of the pin to the melted wax of the candle
Touch the head of the pin to the tick's back, and the wax will adhere the little devil
Roast tick at outer edge of flame until it bursts
Enjoy


Remember - the best fun is low-tech!


Anyway, halfway down the magnificent Arkansas Highway 7, and having serious scooter envy - love all the hard-asses on motorcycles out owning the open road on perfect days like this. Home tomorrow night.

9 comments:

Heather B said...

Your GPa sounds awesome, however I don't think I'd like a jar of ticks in the house.

Crazy Dan said...

Nothing says fun like killing bugs!

Anonymous said...

ewwwwwwwwwwww!
I luv the woods, but, .....
(anything after but - is BULLS#$T!
:o

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That is so strange. My dad used to collect woodticks in jars as well. How odd, it must be a boy thing. Trophies, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Better still, try a magnifying glass, the sun, and some big bloated ticks fresh off the dog!

DogMa said...

I am SCARED TO DEATH of these blood sucking demons. I am so glad there are few here in the Pacific N.W.!

Thanks for the nightmares!

phlegmfatale said...

heather b - I guess if you're pulling ticks off yourself on a daily basis, you might as well keep a jar of alchohol handy. Still...

nongirlfriend - what? And forego the pleasure of killing them in a sadistic way? You cheat yourself!

crazy dan - Good times!

starbender - Maybe Guns'n'Roses said it best when they said "Every Rose has its Thorn." Or was that Bon Jovi? Or was that Poison? Whatever.

barbara - oldtimers - trophies - that theory is as good as any I can think of!

anonymous - the slow burn? How cruel? I LOVE it!

dogma - Few ticks up there? Maybe I need to move...

LJ said...

Got anything for black flies? Preferably involving torture?

Kim Carney said...

I remember the JOy I would get picking ticks off of my dod. Perverted, I know