Monday, March 08, 2010

...they were hit by a smooth criminal...



Woman crashes car while shaving her genitals.




I could stay awake for three days, consume the whole liquor cabinet and sit around trying to think of absurd things that might happen, and never would I be able to concoct anything like this. Megan Mariah Barnes was driving to a rendezvous with her current boyfriend in Key West, but wanted to look purty for the encounter, needed to tidy up. She had her passenger (her ex-boyfriend) take the wheel as she shaved her crotchular area. Her vehicle ran into another vehicle at about 45mph, and she drove away from the scene, earning her a hit-and-run charge to round out that driving with suspended license charge.




She's looking decidedly more rough than she did in her previous Key West mug shot on December 13. Actually, she looked kind of cute there, and it was a drugs or dui charge. Poor thing.
On the mug shots web site, her occupation is listed as "disabled." Well, I'd argue that if you are limber enough to shave your own genitalia-- whether driving or not-- you definitely can not be called disabled.
It's sad- she looks like she's had a hard life, and she's definitely too young to look as rough as she does. I hope she gets herself sorted.

7 comments:

Roscoe said...

That sounds like the beginning of a Carl Hiaasen novel. :)

http://www.carlhiaasen.com/

Live here long enough and you start to realize that the fact is much stranger than the fiction.

My favorite "Only in Florida" stories come from Mrs. Roscoe's internship rotations in a local ER. I call the best one, "A Swallowed Barbie Does Not Appear On X-Rays (but her little shoes do)".

Jon said...

My strange mind wonders if she finished her task.

Anyway, back to the gutter.

Anonymous said...

Rode hard & put away wet.
And at such a young age, too. Too bad . . . .

B Woodman

Old NFO said...

Damn, EVERY one of my 'thoughts' has already been used... And yeah, it REALLY does sound like a Hiaasen novel...

Cliff47 said...

Did she end up with razor burn??

Inquiring minds want to know...

Tam said...

I read the opening line of the post first, and then my eyes flicked back up a line and I caught the title, and I Just. Completely. Lost. It.

Oh, thank you for a shrieking fit of laughter like I haven't had in weeks. :D

phlegmfatale said...

Roscoe - the barbie shoes story sounds scary!

Jon - That, and if she cut herself

B Woodman - poor thing.

Old NFO - indeed- what is there to say?

Cliff47 - not even a close shave, I'll bet.

Tam - You are welcome. :P