Friday, February 05, 2010
loose ends and other housecleanery...


If I may quote myself from December 22:



And for the record, I think Britany Murphy died of pneumonia. That crap will kill ya.


LA Coroner has listed pneumonia as a contributing factor in Brittany Murphy's death.


Nasty business, that. Okay, yeah, so there was some dope involved, too, but BM was a professional. You know, like Ron Wood[meant to say Keef Richards here, but wits were too addled. whoopsie.]. She should have been able to spool out the junkie starlet trip for, well, for a little while longer.


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Nothing new to tell re: my job, but I'm sure it will all be fine. :)


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When I was in school I played flute and I tended to get ulcers, probably from a vitamin deficiency among other things. One music teacher told me the fastest remedy was to pack salt in the ulcers and I would. It's been many years since I've had ulcers, but I found myself hosting one of the little blighters this week. Yes, I packed the salt in, and though I remembered this had been painful in my youth, I did not recall how extraordinarily painful it truly was. This was not crashing waves of pain with a pulsing ebb, nor was it even a pile-driver to the gums. Oh no. This was a freight train of agony, a lone blister of the apocalypse. This was pain beyond exquisite. This was the annihilating flame of a relentless oxygen lance with its attendant fires rivaling that of the planet's molten core. Ouchie! Finally, the pain does settle down to something of a dull roar and relents to a rather anemic throb for a bit before going completely, mercifully numb.

This set me to wondering that if salt as a folk remedy was widely known, I could surely read about it and other homey, folksy canker sore cures on the internet, right?




So I googled mouth ulcer home remedy.




Rich meat food, that. *shudder* There were plenty links which extolled the virtue of my beloved salt, and many which mentioned other cures, but there was one which just blew my tiny little mind. Someone posted that they most prefer to glom an ice cube onto the ulcer and leave it there until it sticks, and then to peel away the ulcer from your mouth. They mention this is really painful and may bleed. A lot.




*blink* *blink*




Um, ew.




The efficacy of the salt thing justifies its use, in my humble opinion. Just 24 hours later, my ulcer is nearly gone. Peeling away a layer of-- admittedly--diseased flesh does not seem the proper course to me, unless you are an absolute masochist. Why not wear a hair shirt and flog the crap out of yourself while you're at it?




No thanks. I'll stick with my mere oxygen lance, thank you very much.
Written by phlegmfatale
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Name: Phlegmfatale
Location: Elsewhere, Texas, USA

I'm not whining;
I'm unburdening.
FATALE ABSTRACTION


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