Friday, February 05, 2010

loose ends and other housecleanery...

If I may quote myself from December 22:

And for the record, I think Britany Murphy died of pneumonia. That crap will kill ya.

LA Coroner has listed pneumonia as a contributing factor in Brittany Murphy's death.

Nasty business, that. Okay, yeah, so there was some dope involved, too, but BM was a professional. You know, like Ron Wood[meant to say Keef Richards here, but wits were too addled. whoopsie.]. She should have been able to spool out the junkie starlet trip for, well, for a little while longer.


Nothing new to tell re: my job, but I'm sure it will all be fine. :)


When I was in school I played flute and I tended to get ulcers, probably from a vitamin deficiency among other things. One music teacher told me the fastest remedy was to pack salt in the ulcers and I would. It's been many years since I've had ulcers, but I found myself hosting one of the little blighters this week. Yes, I packed the salt in, and though I remembered this had been painful in my youth, I did not recall how extraordinarily painful it truly was. This was not crashing waves of pain with a pulsing ebb, nor was it even a pile-driver to the gums. Oh no. This was a freight train of agony, a lone blister of the apocalypse. This was pain beyond exquisite. This was the annihilating flame of a relentless oxygen lance with its attendant fires rivaling that of the planet's molten core. Ouchie! Finally, the pain does settle down to something of a dull roar and relents to a rather anemic throb for a bit before going completely, mercifully numb.

This set me to wondering that if salt as a folk remedy was widely known, I could surely read about it and other homey, folksy canker sore cures on the internet, right?

So I googled mouth ulcer home remedy.

Rich meat food, that. *shudder* There were plenty links which extolled the virtue of my beloved salt, and many which mentioned other cures, but there was one which just blew my tiny little mind. Someone posted that they most prefer to glom an ice cube onto the ulcer and leave it there until it sticks, and then to peel away the ulcer from your mouth. They mention this is really painful and may bleed. A lot.

*blink* *blink*

Um, ew.

The efficacy of the salt thing justifies its use, in my humble opinion. Just 24 hours later, my ulcer is nearly gone. Peeling away a layer of-- admittedly--diseased flesh does not seem the proper course to me, unless you are an absolute masochist. Why not wear a hair shirt and flog the crap out of yourself while you're at it?

No thanks. I'll stick with my mere oxygen lance, thank you very much.


Jon said...

Hmmm. Global warming must be in play, because I had an ulcer this week, which hasn't happened for decades. I used oral gel. Truthfully, I never considered salt...I guess I'm a wuss.

Old NFO said...

You're on a roll...LOL

charlotte g said...

Tardily got to this and I have WITNESSED the cure....Matt G's youngest got one Christmas Eve. I started swabbing with hydrogen peroxide. Nup. Worse the next morning, so much so she didn't want to eat sweets for breakfast, a custom at her maternal grandmother's. But her aunt had the answer. She had a styptic pencil used to staunch razor nicks. The active ingredient is alum. Granddaughter was treated--once. and five hours later, it was almost gone. By evening, it was. Hers was bigger than yours. She complained loudly about the taste, but a glass of water helped that.I had never heard of it, but apparently alum stones used to be common for just this purpose. No pain, no side effects, just a bad taste for a minute or two. Sold!

Crucis said...

I've two lip blisters hiding amongst my mustache. Must be the dryness or sumpin'.

My mother always said to put a crushed aspirin on a ulcer to dry it up. Always worked as I remember. It's hard today to find pure aspirin without getting a buncha additives to boot.

Tombstone Charlie said...

Yep, when I was little (1950's) my German Grandmother had a tin of Alum powder which was dabbed on the sore-cleaned it right up. Also Tannic Acid solution (sold OTC as "Cank-A", I believe works well (hurts a bit, bt goes away quickly) and good old OraBase.

phlegmfatale said...

Jon - Hmm. I'm sensing a pattern here. Mine's almost gone, so the salt seemed to have done something, at least.

Old NFO - Glad ya got a grin!

Charlotte: note to self-- get a styptic pencil this weekend. Thanks for the tip. Alum was one thing mentioned early and often.

Crucis - I'm sensing a pattern with all of us having similar problems. I blame Obama. Aspirin sounds at least a cheap way to cure it, and worth investigating, therefore.

Tombstone Charlie - Must have that reputation for a reason. Will be checking out alum. :)

Stranger said...

Grannys home remedy was to rinse the afflicted ulcer with salt water until the pain subsided, and then salt it. Not so different from yours.

Granddad's preventative, picked up as a Union army drummer boy, was butter. A lot of butter. As a high lysine food, butter makes sense, as does high fat cottage cheese and most cheeses generally. As a side note, Granddad was 106 when he died, a respectable age for a man.

But the Strangers long term remedy is a bottle of lysine pills from the health food store. One a day keeps the pain away - and two at the first sign of one will usually stop them from developing further.

Alas, pills do not taste nearly as good as grandmother's hot cinnamon rolls, still hot and gooey from the oven, sliced open and well buttered.


Anonymous said...

Better to go with Ron Wood, Keith has apparently been sober for four months as a result of watching Ron's behavior over the last year (Pot, meet kettle). This will, I predict result in Chapter 11 filings by Wild Turkey and Jack Daniels unless we all club together to take up the slack...