Saturday, July 12, 2008

Born to be mild.

Let me see if I can write this.
Friday was a long-assed day, and my number was apparently up in the interesting character sweeps.

First thing at work, I had a voice mail from a locator telling me an art dealer was moving to town and would be perfect for one of my apartments and would be arriving shortly.

He showed up quite soon, and I was a little surprised that he didn't seem like an aloof, pretentious ass. He was interesting and very down-to-business. We talked terms on the apartment and went over to see same. I showed him the space which has an exterior door, and he said he'd like keep his Harley inside the apartment, but it wouldn't fit through the door. He held his hands up high and wide, and I exclaimed, childlike "You have a chopper?!!!"

He said "don't worry-- I'll give you a ride." I think I turned several shades between pink and red and turned to walk toward the office, describing property amenities as I went.

I told him I had a painting by a 20th century Texas modernist painter that I may be interested in selling, and he came to my apartment and I showed it to him. [wanna see my etchings, little boy?] By the way, if my place has been recently hosed out, it's not uncommon for me to show my own space to prospective residents. He was impressed with the painting, promised to check with online auction records and get back to me with an approximate value.

He called me back in the afternoon and told me a similar painting sold late last year for about $2600+. SWEET! I'm thinking if I got even half of that, it would go a long way toward a house downpayment. Yays.

And then the convo turned back to bidness:

Him: Will you be mad if I rent an apartment somewhere else?
Me: Not at all. I'm pretty philosophical about such things-- the last thing I want to do is have someone rent here and feel miserable or hoodwinked the whole time.
Him: Good, because I just submitted an application on another apartment
Me: Well, thanks for letting me know. But does this mean I won't get my chopper ride?
Him: Oh, no, you'll get your chopper ride. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, you were destined for the chopper.
Me: Wow. I think this is the second time today I'm blushing.
Him: Hey now-- has some other man been flirting at you?
Me: No, it was you both times.

I knew that blouse was too tight.


Carteach said...

!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Details about the ride, maybe? ;)

Anonymous said...

Well, that was a very interesting day, wasn't it? And yer gittin' a chopper ride, oh boy!

HollyB said...

I keep tellin' you, it's that "Hi, Sailor!" RED lipstick.

Buck said...

Hmmm. And here I had you figured as more of a sport-bike type. I suppose that's one of the MOST interesting things about blogs... something new is revealed (or new to me, anyway) from time to time.

FatQuarterQuiltFarm said...

Nuthin like a motorcycle ride to let you know just how alive you and the world going by are!!
Personally I can NEVER get enough!!
Party ON Phlemmy!!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh Phlegmmy! Damn, you've still got it, girl! A little flirtation is always a lovely thing.

g bro said...

Or just tight enough.

phlegmfatale said...

carteach - I KNOW!

lainy - uh - I don't know if I'll take him up on his generous offer...

myron - oh my, indeed!

hollyb - methinks I need to buy stock in Lola cosmetics. No one says "Hi, Sailor!" like Sweet Love. Miaow!

buck - in truth, I'm more of a sidecar kind of chick.

schnoobie - you know, my sister SWEARS if I'd give it a try I'd lose my hangups about riding on a bike, but it actually makes me nervous even to think about. Then again, some really, rilly cool chicks totally dig it. Chicks like my sis, Tam and you...

barbara - Hyuk! I didn't even KNOW I was flirting. It was funny, anyway

g bro - I suppose that's a possibility...

phlegmfatale said...

Ooh, and Roberta is a Scooterina, too.

jcat said...

Hey, you're cool! You like guns and dogs and Ofra Haza.....

OK, so lesson #1 is that a Harley, especially a chopper is not not NOT a motorbike. Liking bikes has nothing to do with Harleys, cos they aren't real bikes - they are tractors in camo.

Otherwise, look for Ofra singing L'orech hayam - the voice and the song and everything all come together sublimely.

May I link to you please? Have read the last two months or so, and the nicest thing is noticing that there's a whole lot more to read still!


phlegmfatale said...

jcat - you're cool just for knowing who Ofra Haza is! Will look for that song.
Okay, so is a tractor in camo a good or a bad thing?

Yes, you may link to me, and I'm honored you'd want to. Cheers, m'dear!

MagiK said...

ROTFL! The last sentence just killed me :)

And by the way, wonderful screen name.

Anonymous said...

Youtube has a bunch of Ofra's music videos on there.

Attila the Mom said...

Woohoo! LOL

Christina RN LMT said...


There's something about the vibration of the motorcycle...nope, not going there!

Have fun, you sexeh thang!

Anonymous said...

I don't know if it was the lipstick, the blouse, or he saw the pic in your profile...yum!!

phlegmfatale said...

immagikman - glad ya liked it, and thanks!

redneckinny - I've enjoyed watching her on youtube :)

attila the mom - that's what I said!

christina - I'm not going there, either!

joseph - aw, shucks. Blushing again!

breda said...

heehee! too cute! =)

Thud said...

does chopper not mean the same in slang here as in the U.K. ?...ride on his chopper..just too much for me and my schollboy sense of humour..sorry.

phlegmfatale said...

breda - I got a giggle out of it, anyway!

thud - from wikipedia: A chopper is a radically customized motorcycle, archetypal examples of which are the customized Harley-Davidsons seen in the 1969 film Easy Rider. Many of today's custom motorcycles are sometimes mistakenly called choppers, but a truly custom-built motorcycle has additional - usually chrome - accessories and billet parts added on to the bike for aesthetic value, while originally such modifications were purely functional in nature.

Now, I'm really scared to ask, but what's a chopper in the UK?

Thud said...

well you can ride it but I'm too polite to say more! • noun 1 Brit. a short axe with a large blade. 2 (choppers) informal teeth. 3 informal a helicopter. 4 informal a type of motorcycle with high handlebars. 5 vulgar slang a man’s penis