Monday, October 25, 2010
On the way home this weekend...
...Himself and I were driving along a highway and a patrol car turned on its lights, but pulled over an ass-hauling Expensive Car instead. That felt really odd. I was driving, and at first I'd thought the officer was coming after me. Nope. All was well.

About 5 minutes later, another patrol officer pulled onto the roadway behind myself and some other cars and turned on the pretty, sparkly lights. OOoh! Shiny!

Ruh roh, raggy. Aw crap. This time it was my turn to be pulled over. Speed limit was 70 and I was going about 63.

Nice Officer [not from Himself's department] came up to the side as I was digging in my purse for the paper for my (effective October 1) insurance policy. I handed him my DL and my CHL. He asked if I had a gun with me and where it was, and I responded, and said I was looking for the insurance paper. He seemed nice. My passenger insists I was flustered, that I said "I know I wasn't speeding" and the officer said "your license plate lamp is out." I apologized and said I was not aware of that.

He handed the CHL back to me and took the other docs to his car. He came back and handed me a receipt-like paper, and I thought I kind of caught him grinning, but I can't be sure. He said he was going to give me a warning and that I need to get that light business seen to right away. "Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

So we drove away and Himself was grinning like a possum. [full-of-crap moment dead-ahead] He said "you talked yourself out of that, sweetie-- he was going to give you a ticket." For a second I puffed up inside, thinking maybe the officer surmised I'm obviously a good person and frankly too sweet to give a ticket to. Wait-- I didn't try to weasel my way out of it. No, I couldn't have talked myself out of a ticket, surely not." [this thought process took about a fraction of a second ] I said "Really? You think I talked myself out of that?"

He was smiling big. Too big.

I felt compelled to ask probing questions. Finally I came around to the should-have-been obvious question-- "did you know that guy???"
Himself coyly rejoindered "I may have seen him before..."
"uh, when was the last time you may have seen him?"

Rascal. He then went on to say that he only leaned out and made eye contact with the officer after the officer said he was just going to issue a warning. I know this to be a load of crap, because an officer pulling someone over is going to look at all a vehicle's occupants right off the bat and suss the situation and potential threat level-- am I right or am I right?

My suspicion is that before the officer even locked on my bright blue eyes, the soul-sucking Cthulu-stache was waggling menacingly from the passenger-side, pulling focus, and then he saw who was attached to it. I'll bet they even winked at each other.

Written by phlegmfatale
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Name: Phlegmfatale
Location: Elsewhere, Texas, USA

I'm not whining;
I'm unburdening.

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