Since I'm off a few days in the week, I like to take whatever book I'm reading at the moment and go to a restaurant by myself for lunch. I don't mind if there's noise around me- in a public place that is to be expected. However, I have some restaurant pet peeves I'd like to whine about for a moment.
Why is it that terminally dullard women travel in packs and chatter so loudly that you couldn't tune out their inane palaver even with a Milli Vanilli track looping 'round your brain? Overheard at my favorite brunchy place recently was this golden chestnut:
"I came home and there was a big raccoon on my porch and I waited and waited and it wouldn't go away so I called 9-1-1 on my mobile." *much laughter*
I think no jury would convict me for battery if I'd slapped the shit out of the bitch just because. I would have called it a crime of passion. It just happened that I had a pair of foam earplugs in my handbag which I pulled out and ceremoniously inserted. It helped a bit, but I still resented they oxygen these women were wasting, along with the time and money of the public who provide a police department for real emergencies.
Next restaurant pet peeve - the Donald Trumps of the world who go to a public restaurant and think they are conducting a private business meeting, talking loudly and bandying about the usual tired corporate bullshit catchphrases. All I know is these assholes need to reinvent frictionless deliverables and engage collaborative solutions to give me a peaceable enviroment in which to enjoy my meal . Losers.
And finally, my personal favorite people whose heads I'd like to rip off so I could potty down their necks: people (predominantly men, I must say) who have loud cell phone business conversations at the table. My favorite Dallas Indian restaurant is near the region's high-tech corridor, and there's always some weenie at a nearby table, trying to talk colleagues through some meltdown that's happening back at the lab. Last week a woman sat quietly during the entire meal as her companion talked on his cell phone for at least half an hour.
There was a time not so long ago when one of the great things about being away from home was that you didn't have to answer the phone. Where has that sensibility gone? It's as though most people can't function without the disruption. Me, I'm finding it difficult to function WITH the disruption. Call me a cranky old broad, but my patience wears thin... Is there such thing as dining rage?