Thursday, May 18, 2006
Putting on the ditz.
My much beloved favorite comic - Eddie Izzard - said something brilliant about what the public goes for. Forgive the butchery of this story - I won't presume to quote. He said with the public it's 10% what you say, 20% how you say it, and 70% how you look when you're saying it. He cited the example of JFK in Berlin saying "Ich bin ein Berliner" to a crowd of Germans, who just went nuts with glee. In German, to say I'm a Berliner, he should have said "Ich bin Berliner." Instead, he objectified himself and in effect called himself a donut, the local municipal pastry. Eddie said someone in the crowd said "what did he say?" and the guy next to him said "He said he's a donut. He's an American. He's a fuckin' donut!" as they applauded madly with the rest of the crowd who were caught up in the heady euphoria of being in the presence of the attractive young American president.
Flash forward to American Idol, Tuesday night. Katharine McPhee sang the classic Ella Fitzgerald number "I ain't got nothing but the blues." If you watched her sing with the sound down, you'd think she was doing "Walking on Sunshine," or somesuch. Larking about the stage, fleet of foot and a giddy gleam in the eye, the smile rarely leaving her lips is not a convincing way to convey the blues, frankly, and that is part and parcel of why she is such a dead mackerel on stage - she doesn't connect with what she's singing about, ever! She is locked in stasis looking pretty and saying "look what I can do! *blink*blink*" She's like the baton twirler from the old Funky Winkerbean cartoon. She's pretty much just a beautifully put-together dipshit and boring, boring, boring. Yeah, she's a fucking donut. Tragically, the far superior performer--Elliot Yamin-- went home tonight.
Next week should be interesting, but I'm looking forward to the end of the first and last season of this idiotic show I'll ever watch. ESPECIALLY if the Stepford Singer™ wins it. Sheesh. I expect it all to be utterly resistable in future.