Thursday, May 11, 2006
I've always had a fixation with teeth. Not to the degree of peculiarity or anything, I just seem to focus on them. I loved pulling my baby teeth--I'll spare you the details. I'm ok with braces and that sort of thing, obviously, but taking perfectly healthy teeth, grinding them down and bonding veneers to them is peculiar, to say the least. Remember David Bowie's real teeth? Remember Cher's? How unfortunate that people allow themselves to be persuaded to hide a very distinctive and personal feature with a fake, homogenous appliance. It's kinda sick. Some of the most fabulous yet kinda wonky teeth I can think of are Patricia Arquette - and she's nothing but a cute little honey pot. It would be a shame if she ever altered her fetching smile.
Speaking of sick, one of my favorite dental gross-out scenes was in Castaway when Tom Hanks performs a tooth extraction on himself using the blade of an ice skate and a rather large rock. Throughout the theater were audible gasps and groans, and then, the sound of me giggling maniacally. Now if this kind of stuff happened on those so-called reality survival shows, that would be worth watching.