1 halfrack brisket from local BBQ place
1/2 c BBQ sauce from local BBQ place
2 cans garbanzo beans
1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can navy beans
1 can Ro-Tel
1 can chopped Hatch chiles
Dump canned stuff in crock pot with BBQ sauce. Tear up rib rack and throw it all in the pot, including the bones and gristle. DO NOT throw away the fat. Throw fat in the pot. You're a dullard if you try to un-fat this pot and probably not worthy. Add water so nothing is dry-docked. Vary bean types and can numbers as you prefer, but I will disavow your cheater beans' authenticity if you unfat it. That's cheating for real and I can't be having none of that.
Turn crockpot on High until desired hotness is achieved.
Nom with pups looking on balefully. Give cartilage to pups. Nibble for several days. Contemplate the glory of the elegant interplay of canned beans and pre-cooked meat.
Pet pups and be happy.