Thursday, November 01, 2007
RUH ROH, RAGGY!
Halloween recall of lead-laden ugly fake bubba teeth from China. Hollywood is in danger. I'm worried for them.
I'm hoping activist Hollywood will stop whingeing globally and start acting locally to tidy up the toxic chompers they're sporting. Diseased gums, mismatched veneers, discolored gums that indicate an obvious predilection for the Colombian marching powder, big honkin' toofies that look like piano keys-- it's an epidemic. Not even the young are exempt from trifling with what nature gave 'em: poor Hilary Duff is now rocking a set of veneers that time-warped straight from a Martha Raye Depends ad, circa 1993. Tsk tsk.
I've said it before, but does anyone remember Cher's original teeth? Yeah, they were kinda wonky, but I think they looked soooo much better than that uni-tooth veneer thing she's got going on now. That's just me. Oh, and David Bowie used to have teeth, too.
Now here's something funny - my dentist also does cosmetic veneers, and he told me he has a patient who came in and had veneers made that were like Cher's original teeth. Amazing.