Friday, November 09, 2012

Ambling shamblers: the state of attire on college campi.

I admit I graduated high school in 1984, which pretty much ensconces me in Grumpy Old Fart territory when it comes to campus fashion, but I take umbrage, nonetheless.

The era of my high school included a post-hippie generation of preppy folks who were by-golly not bloody hippies. In high school I had aspirations to stylishness and I generally wore dresses, which continues a preference for me. I often lamented how some classmates wore sweats to school, because it just looked woefully slovenly. After all, they were not abed sick, but out in public. A little self pride did not seem too much to ask, but perhaps I am a silly woman. No matter: my blog, my rules. I must bitch forthwith.

The campus at my university is littered with young adults who shuffle through the hallways in flip-flops, some of those festooned with sequins and crystals-- ya know-- for dressy days. The shuffle-slap shuffle-slap ostinato is a drab cadence for the walking dread. the lack of energy in their gait speaks volumes. I look at these kids and wonder how many are mortgaging their futures for degrees that will not yield them the careers to which they aspire, and the shuffling seems more apt. I would hire few, if any of them.

I actually respect the ones who come to class in pajamas for some modicum of honesty: the chicks in sweats who obviously spent loads of time on hair/makeup rate a hypocritical Boo/Hiss, to say the least. Pull yourself together, bitches! If you are going to that effort, at least invest the additional 3 minutes to yank something less slobbish from the closet. It won't kill you, I promise.

Skinny jeans on males? Run! Run screaming from anyone who advises you thus. There may be a guy on the planet who looks good in them, but you are not he. They make the make the torso look freakishly long and the legs as short as, well, mine. Ixnay the ookingfay skinny jeans.

And now we turn to the subject of sweatpants in general. Ladies, I'm talking to you. No female in any state if physical fitness should ever ever EVAR go out in public with any type of text across her arse. Trust me when I say that a luscious ass need not announce to the world that it is, in fact, JUICY, and to do so is to paint the lily. Worse still is the proclamation of teh hawtness on a back forty wot am decidedly NOT, and that's just sad. Further, even a nicely fit bum can look eye-bendingly wrong with 4" text swagged thereupon. Don't do it. Want to raise breast cancer awareness? Fine. Just leave off with the PINK-assed sweats, mkay? To recap, is stupid, pathetic and not pretty.

I'm all for living in the age in which the fates plopped oneself, so by all means, trend away. I'm just saying that everyone should have a bit more self awareness of what actually looks good on them, regardless if what the current craze may be or what the shop clerks tell them.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1 comment:

East Of The Pecos said...

Having finished school a full 10 years before you, I would like to think that I have achieved Grouchy Old Bastige status (at least).

That being said, I must concur. What in the name of all that's Holy are some of these kids thinking? Do they not have mirrors in their world?

I admit that bell bottoms with 3 inch cuffs, polyester print shirts and platform shoes bordered on the ridiculous, especially when accessorized with love beads and/or puka shells, but at least we looked good for the times.

Scary to think that these are the people that will someday be running the world.