Saturday, December 10, 2005

Would you like chocolate sprinkles on your pastry?

OK. This court case happened in October and was splashed in the news in November, but I was too tied up with other bidness to give it proper attention, but the degree of sheer repugnance of this story has me in ecstasies of horror.

Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh, a crack-addicted Dallas cab driver, had a personality clash with the employees at a Fiesta supermarket and decided to exact his own revenge for the tongs being too short to reach the back of the cookie trays in the self-serve pastry section. He dried his own poop on papers next to his bed, and then shredded same with a cheese grater and went back to Fiesta and festooned the pastries with his home grown chocolate sprinkles. Customers complained about the foul smell in the cases, and then one of the employees saw him spreading his good cheer one day, so they video taped the pastry cases and documented the next offense and arrested him. This little stunt has earned him 5 years in Texas Department of Corrections.

Let's dissect this a bit. The wheels were off before any mention of poop. I'm going to avoid the obvious aspects of the name and go straight to the concern of a licensed employed cab driver with a crack habit? WTF??? Do they not screen such people on occasion, like, randomly or something? If not, that would explain the immaculately shitty driving of a lot of bus drivers in the Dallas Area Rapid Transit system. Let me just say they are such marauding assholes that I don't go out of my way to be courteous to them when I have the opportunity. I've pulled my big fatass truck over into the buslane in front of them on more than one occasion to make a right turn downtown without so much as a by your leave. Yeah, I said it! I gives as good as I gets. Anyway, I'll wrap up by saying that I'd lay good money on a bet that wherever Behrouz is from not only does not provide self-service pastry cases, but they don't have a soup kitchen on every corner like we do in South Dallas and jobs for crack addicts. In fact, I'll bet he couldn't find such good drugs back home. Where is the love, people? A little respect for what we do for the world, every day of the year.


Bored Housewife said...

Amen, sistah! That's just foul.

Your username was too great to not follow back here...

Zelda said...

Oh Phlegm. I fear we were separated at birth.

Dick said...

How I missed this story is beyond me.
Oh wait, I work 70 hours a week, that's how.
Ya know that you've pretty much fucked me up on chocolate sprinkles for the rest of my life, don't you?

Btw, you ought to give 635 a whirl on a scooter during rush hour.
That'll put hair on your ass.
On second thought, let's just forget all about that:)

One other thing, we need to set this pig up a little better.
Comments, a good counter, maybe a link here or there.

phlegmfatale said...

Why thank you, you sexy people!
Sorry for ruining chocolate sprinkles Big Dick, but I throw the blame back at the doorstep of the middle-east.