Tuesday, October 09, 2007

No longer just the favorite of gentlemen - now even orangutans prefer blondes, although they have a taste for the skeez-factor. A 31 year old male orangutan in the Amsterdam zoo was brought in for special breeding purposes, but to the frustration of the red-butted females in his environ, the only females who made his bobber float were the blonde-and-tattoed humans who paraded through the zoo. Apparently the keeper who reared him from infancy(baby ape-dom? what do you call it?) was a tattoed blonde and this has sparked his little fetish thingy. They're going to reunite him with a female he had relations with previously in England, hoping to re-spark their love connection.

They need to give that monkey some tequila.
____________________________

Meanwhile, you can buy a modern abstract painting by an elephant - click here for details. A not-for-profit group has trained painting elephants in various Asian countries, particularly Thailand, and these elephants are singing for their supper, as it were. The money fetched by the canvases goes to support these elephants and their sweet, cushy lifestyles as rich and famous temple elephants, or some such. Dude, these paintings look at LEAST as good as a Jackson Pollock.

I think they're cute.

15 comments:

Christina said...

Why should orangutans be different from any other male?
Were the blonds wearing thongs that peeked from the back of their low-rise jeans? Wouldn't surprise me.

Re: Pachyderm Paintings (nice alliteration, no?)
They are better than 80% of the dreck that's sold as "modern art" in galleries today.
Heck, didn't somebody train a chimp to paint? What about the guy who put his three-year-old on a tricycle, dipped the wheels in paint, and had him ride around on canvasses?
I guess it's true that a sucker is born every second...

phlegmfatale said...

Yeah, that whole abstract art thing - or a lot of it, anyway - seems like a hoax to me. Pretentious.
Yup, one born every minute, and two to take 'em!

DBA Dude said...

Phlegmmy, you were doing so well with "baby ape-dom" ...

Then you mess it up with the use of the M word and tequila!

Just be happy that the Librarian is not around :)

Oh and I think that I have fixed that broken link.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I quite like the elephant paintings, but then my house is decorated with Resident Offspring paintings, aged 1-10. Perhaps it's time for the cat to start making some artistic contributions.

phlegmfatale said...

dba dude - this may smack ever so faintly of baloney to you, but I used the word "monkey" just hoping someone would give me grief about it. Because I'm masochistic. Because I'm a baaaad girl! *L*
*blink* *blink*
but what's wrong with tequila? I think they get that mon-- er, simian lubed up on the cactus juice and they'd be in the baby 'rang bidness. That's just my 2 cents' worth.

Thanks - I'll go check that link out later, when I'm at work and on the clock! *wink*

Hammer said...

that is one sick little monkey.

Maybe they could put a skank costume on a female orangutan...

Becky said...

I just don't get the fascinations with blondes. I've always preferred brown-haired men (though the theory may not apply to men -- I've never really heard, have you?).

suspiciously pleased said...

what makes orangutans think they can afford to be so choosey??

as christina says, typical.

phlegmfatale said...

barbara - well, offspring art is personal!

hammer - Yeah, slutty girl 'utan in too-tight denim with a muffin-gut dunlappin' over. Sexay!

becky - there's no accounting for taste, my mom always said.

suspiciously pleased - *L* Indeed! Hairy apes!

Anonymous said...

if I can do it, it ain't art...a

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Oh hilarious. Critters got a taste for tats eh? Jeeze.

SoHoS said...

I love the elephant art!

mully said...

Tequila does work wonders.

phlegmfatale said...

Sis - I think you misunderestimate yourself.

fhb - Yup - tats're not just for breakfast anymore

sohos - me too - super cute!

mully - damn skippy, baby!

mully said...

do you think you might have an interest in star wranglin'? we are looking for new blood in our "secret club"...