Wednesday, October 10, 2007


THE EMPEROR'S NEW PAINTING...

Here's my favorite steaming pile of horse shit from the news this week:

A young French artist is being prosecuted for planting a kiss on an all-white canvas in a gallery by American abstract painter Cy Twombly. This all-white painting is allegedly valued at $2.84 million dollars.

Not pennies: dollars.

Some pretentious asshole bastard painted a canvas ALL ONE COLOR and this is deemed a piece of art worth more than most of us will see in a lifetime. What a load of crap! They think cleaning/restoring the painting will cost in the neighborhood of $50,000.

Staggering. Earl Scheib could fix that painting for $99.99. I'm just saying...

I say good for that heifer for planting some color on the thing that at least made it interesting.

15 comments:

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Shit, all it needs is a cote of primer and another coat or two of white. Any Wal Mart will sell you the spray paint for much less.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

At first I thought that might be art by the elephant.

The Atavist said...

Just goes to show that sheeple will believe anything told to them by critics and 'experts.' I personally don't know anyone who actually likes or buys this crap (I studied art all through high school and as far as I went in University) so why is it 'worth' so much? It isn't.

Kevin said...

Wow. I've got 300 copies of that EXACT same painting in my printer drawer right now! I could sell prints for $10 a pop!

Myron said...

I'm with you phlemmy. It do look better with some color, don't it. If painting something all one color makes you an artist then I'm are one. Can't remember the number of times I painted the bilges with red decking and the canvas mat on the deck between the engines green.

Mushy said...

Another case of light-loafered fellows telling us what to wear and what to look at, if you ask me.

suspiciously pleased said...

it's wankers like this that give copntemporary art a bad name. there is SOOOOO much better and more exciting stuff out there than someone 'blank canvas' commentary. jesus. what the hell does anyone get outta that??

phlegmfatale said...

fhb - zackley.
No, the elephant art was less insulting as you could still respect the critter wot painted 'em!

atavist - it's a total sham. My crap-detector pegs on this stuff.

kevin - you and me both!

myron - much improved, indeed!

mushy - SOMETHING is rotten in Denmark.

suspiciously pleased - I agree. I'll tell you what they get out of it- about 3 million clams and a whole lot of befuddled, pissed-off people!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oooh look! A case of pretension gone mad! Thank you for keeping us up to date on silliness in this world. It's stuff like that which makes me feel really grounded.

Hammer said...

If I had known art was that easy I would have been doing it years ago.

Christina said...

For once I'm rendered (almost) speechless.

(You know I can't really shut up...)

How the hell do you appraise a painting of nothing?

"Zee eMOtion of zis peece...incroyable!

It's incredible all right, an incredible piece of shit!
And God forbid anyone should have the balls to say so. The morons would look down their noses and mutter, "Philistine!"

WTF ever. As long as nobody expects ME to shell out a penny for it, they can bamboozle whomever they please. And congratulate themselves on their sophistication and fine taste in art while doing so.

g bro said...

Doesn't the lady in the picture guest as a judge on Law & Order?

DBA Dude said...

There are some very very strange people coexisting with us on this planet.

I think that the young lady has probably added another $2 million to the value of the "piece".

Ruth Massoth said...

Rita, I also thought Everything is Illuminated was a great movie. Why do we never hear about some of the really good ones. I love when it when I "discover" a movie like this. Selfishly I like to think I am the only one who knows about it.

phlegmfatale said...

barbara - yes, it's a great reminder, innit? We totally rock!

hammer - I've done it all along, just ain't been paid fer it.

christina - what's baffling is that they expect an insurance company to pony up compensation? Good googly moogly.

g bro - if she doesn't, she should!

dba dude - I totally agree - she should bill them.

ruth - Perhaps we keep good things to ourselves because they are like having exclusive access to one of the great secrets of the universe. Yes, the mainstream stuff that really does get a lot of attention so often seems incredibly insulting and a sad statement on our culture: they set low standards and even then fail to achieve. SOOOOOO good to see your name pop up in my blog, by the way!!!