Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A brief moment to self-indulge, and then it's onward and upward. Or is it onwards and upwards?

I forget.


I am really, really struggling with Pharmacology. This is not an exaggeration.  I have a test next week, and a final the following, and I MUST do well on those or I will not pass the course.  No kidding.

Oh, and there's a poster project that's due on Monday.  We've known about this project since the beginning of the semester, and on April 2, the professor assigned us to our groups with our respective poster subject. 

Our outline is due on Friday and the poster is to be presented on Monday.  My group has never met once.  I've posted on the discussion board repeatedly that we need to meet to get our concept together for the poster, and they literally have said things like "we have plenty of time" and "the outline's not due until Friday" (one of them said that on the board tonight - Tuesday-- at least SHE checked in).   I can't control other people.

This is just how this whole semester has been for me in this class, and this is completely beyond my control, and yet a portion of my grade hinges on it.  I've struggled to keep my chin up this semester, and I'm trying to claw my way out of it, but this is a moment when I could just throw my hands up and say "screw it! This was doomed from the start."

If I fail this class, this will delay my completion of the course by 6 months, but what will be, will be, at this point.  I'm studying my heart out now and until the very last on this, but the stress and frustration of being docked for arbitrary stuff like this feels so fundamentally defeating. Two weeks from Thursday this will all be over, and it can't come soon enough.

So, yeah, onwards and upwards. 

To quote something brilliant I saw earlier, "A chicken dreams of the day when they can cross the road without having their motives questioned." 

Something like that.

1 comment:

Old NFO said...

Do your best, that is all one can ask. And you cannot be responsible for all the idjits...