Monday, September 23, 2013

Dreaded locks.

I can't believe I'm composing this post. Composting?  Um. If it's funny, enjoy it while you can, because I might pull it back down at any moment. 

If you have dogs, then I'm sure like me, you've noticed that a dog hair occasionally gets in your mouth, right?  Well, it stands to reason that they would occasionally ingest some of our hairs, right?  What is problematic for my dogs is that my hair is fairly long.  I don't know that Chuy has ever swallowed my hair, but in the past with dear, departed Valentine and definitely with Praline, there has been an occasional uncomfortable *aherm* outcome related to having ingested my hair. 

Ever-so-long ago, I noticed Valentine had been in the yard for a great long while and when I called her to come in, she seemed embarrassed, still hunched over in mid-poo stance.   I went to see what was the matter, worried I'd find distended bits of innards only to find that one of my hairs was embedded in a dangler and the end of the hair was still in cheekero.  I looked around and found a leaf from a tree, grasped the pewp with the leaf and pulled the rest of the hair from her bum and bob's yer uncle.  Had to do that from time to time.  No idea if she intentionally ingested my hair or not, but it was something to watch for.  To my knowledge, no deleterious health effects resulted from these hair events, other than the embarrassment of a rather tidy little dog.

Flash forward to Praline, who is bizarrely fastidious(she'd rather die than have an accident indoors), and when she has a dangler (rarely), she is very embarrassed about it.  She would probably spraddle-walk the yard for an hour if I didn't come to her rescue, poor darling, but even then, she'll get embarrassed about her sorry state and will try to hide her shame.  It's comical (and heart-rending) to chase her in that state, because she is mortified.

Mochi, as I've mentioned, is nomnivorous and is ever trawling the universe for something in appropriate to ingest.  Seriously.  She LOVES chewing up pens.  Unraveling a chenille bedspread is a great joy to her, and I once had to pull a chenille strand of about 18" from her mouth and it was quickly apparent the strand had traveled a goodly distance into my long little doggie.  Goober.  She's a walking hazard and there's no telling what she's eaten. *sigh*

This morning, it is particularly fine and beautiful, so I stood on the back step when I let them out.  Mochi was having a poop event, and the, um, ejecta seemed unwilling to disengage.  I watched her for a wee bit, but quickly realized it was in some way attached.  Like a good mommy, I scanned the area for an amply-sized leaf with which to liberate the reluctant turd.  Mochi was most amenable to having assistance, to my relief, because I didn't want to run all over the place bare-foot.  Come to find it wasn't just one hair, but a fairly dense mass of the things that had formed a little dreadlocky turd thing with hair extending up into her bottom.  Seriously, it was a fairly impressive tangle of hairs, and it actually took a little tug to get it the rest of the way out. Wow.

Made me think of what my mom says about dread locks-- she said they remind her of those monkeys (or apes) that roll dung in their fur?  Anyway.  I hope this does not become a regular thing around here-- Mochi seems precisely the sort who would get bored trying to lose it and would just flounce her dreadlock back into the house.  Ew.


Jennifer said...

Oh dear! Too funny.

Evyl Robot Michael said...

LOL! Heidi occasionally gets chased around the yard by ghost turds.

Attila the Mom said...

I can't stop laughing! Our pup (called "el destructo")once ate a couple-of-decades-old 4-inch tube of Mary Kay red lipstick from an old sales case that I inherited from my mother. When he crapped I thought he was bleeding to death. 75 bucks later I found out it was indestructable wax. LOL

Anonymous said...

Oh me, oh my. *wipes tears from eyes* That made my day, LOL!!

It's doubly funny for me because I've also had long hair for most of my life, and my dogs have thus from time to time had the dreadful dangly incidents which you've described so deliciously. Never a dreadlock, though. That has to be a first. :D

Vinogirl said...

The Vinodogs have had no such accidents, but we did have a cat once that swallowed a shoelace. Thud extracted it with a clothes peg...and the cat took off like a spinning top. Poor thing.