Saturday, April 28, 2012
The way forward
I got off work yesterday and I realized that I had nothing to do, no prior commitments, no one I said I'd meet at a play or karaoke or coffee. I was the definition of un-busy for once. And then I realized why I do all the overcommitting that I do: I'm a sociable person and I spend an unusual amount of time alone. Himself is at work 5 evenings a week and I work in the days and we have different days off, so opportunities for just lounging about really don't happen. I do need to be around people. Rather than sitting around like a clove on a baked ham, I went and bought a book and took myself on a date to a sushi restaurant. I had a nice time, met some people from Cuba when one of them was wracking his brain to think of a particular Colombian author's name he loved (Gabriel Garcia-Marquez) who happens to be one of my favorites. Nice things happened. It was like kismet and I came home feeling like I'd had something a little more spontaneous than usual happen. Then I went for a walk for about an hour and chatted to a dear friend whilst I did. It was a nice Friday night. Those occasions of concentrated time alone lead one to introspection. I was musing to a friend that another friend said that I'm so upbeat that it can be hard to take. The truth is, when I'm around friends, unless I'm in a state of distress and need comfort, I generally feel like a puppy and so excited to see everyone. Maybe that's why I identify with my houndies so deeply-- they don't know the meaning of squandering time with dear ones. Life is to be savored and enjoyed, and not whine away with pointless worry and fear. I don't know when, exactly, but I started reading Cynthia Occelli's blog some time ago, maybe about a year or so. I'm not one to go to any site regularly, but updates on hers feed to my email and have an uncanny knack for buoying me in the direction I need more often than not. Also, I'm not one to subscribe to fortune-cookie generalities, and thoughts that generate a baseless good feeling for its own sake. Hers is a sight where she shares much of what she's been through and what she overcomes, and there is a strong focus on letting go of negative feelings that keep one from achieving what they aspire to in life. She's an incredible person with a great story about propelling herself forward and leaving self-defeating thought systems in her wake. I admire her optimism and her ability to sublimate dark humors by moving forward with her life and not dragging along cumbersome swags of other peoples' baggage. But I do have the occasional dark humor. All the time I'm swimming forward but I am aware of a chasm in the rearview mirror and glancing back is nigh irresistable. I have to fight to keep the dark thoughts at bay, and sometimes, a boost from Cindy really helps me fight the tide. Her post today is called Only the good stuff, and it contains several great things today but one in particular struck me. She said:
What it means when people criticize you: When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom or criticize you, remember they're telling you their story, not yours. Cynthia Occelli
I've thought that very thing in the past, but was not able to work it into a verbal mass so nicely. Thank you for the encouragin' words, Cindy. :)
Written by phlegmfatale
0 cared enough to comment!


Name: Phlegmfatale
Location: Elsewhere, Texas, USA

I'm not whining;
I'm unburdening.
FATALE ABSTRACTION


Learn more here



September 2002

November 2002

January 2003

March 2003

June 2003

July 2003

August 2003

September 2003

October 2003

November 2003

December 2003

January 2004

February 2004

March 2004

April 2004

May 2004

June 2004

July 2004

August 2004

September 2004

October 2004

November 2004

December 2004

March 2005

April 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

November 2008

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

August 2010

September 2010

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010

January 2011

February 2011

March 2011

April 2011

May 2011

June 2011

July 2011

August 2011

September 2011

October 2011

November 2011

December 2011

January 2012

February 2012

March 2012

April 2012

May 2012

June 2012

July 2012

August 2012

September 2012

October 2012

November 2012

December 2012

January 2013

February 2013

March 2013

April 2013

May 2013

June 2013

July 2013

August 2013

September 2013

October 2013

November 2013

December 2013

January 2014

February 2014

March 2014

April 2014

May 2014

June 2014

July 2014

August 2014

September 2014

October 2014

November 2014

December 2014

January 2015

February 2015

March 2015

April 2015

May 2015

June 2015

July 2015

August 2015

September 2015

October 2015

November 2015

December 2015

January 2016

February 2016

March 2016

April 2016

May 2016

June 2016

July 2016

August 2016

October 2016

December 2016

January 2017

March 2017

April 2017

May 2017

June 2017

July 2017

Who links to me?