Friday, July 19, 2019

Today is Dad's 78th birthday. Times have been rough since losing him so suddenly, but in spite of the sadness, more than anything I remember the countless joys and delights of just being around him. I miss his humming and singing.

Dad was shy and would never sing in public, but he had a great sense of pitch and a good voice. He hummed hymns quite a bit, occasionally busting out a line or a few words. I loved him singing along to the radio. He would look over at Mom on road trips and sing along.  If he knew she disliked a song, he would grin at her and sing, and she might turn the dial, or pop off a retort to the lyric in question. He would laugh, we'd all laugh. Mom and Dad's witty, affectionate banter was a joy to see.

Sometimes, he'd sing along to lovely songs of great affection. Even in the most difficult or tense moments, the tremendous respect and admiration between Mom and Dad was undeniable.

Maybe my wounded heart fills in the gaps, but I swear I remember him singing this song ("You're My Best Friend" by Don Williams) to her. I think he would sing it to her today if he could. Such a love is a rare and precious thing, and I am happy I got to be their child.

Happy earth birthday in Heaven, Pop. We love you and miss you.


Old NFO said...

Well said.

Jonna Hayden said...

Hugs, dear. I hope you have a good weekend with your mom.

pigpen51 said...

I am convinced that there is such a thing as soul mates, but that it doesn't work like they say in the movies. Instead, it takes two people, who commit to each other, the rest of their lives, spending every moment trying to become the soul mate of the other person. And when a person finds the right one, who is willing to do the hard work, and the fun and enjoyable things as well, that go into becoming each others soul mate, there is truly a marriage in every sense of the word, and the angels in heaven sing a song that makes God's heart glad. For God said, it is " Not Good" that man be alone, let me make him a help meet, or in other words, some one with whom he can share his life.
My mom and dad were lucky enough to have found each other, and to have built such a life together. I took a detour, but after 11 years, with what I thought was my soul mate, I learned that I was mistaken, and now I realize that the woman I have been married to for over 26 years is truly the one for me.
It would seem that your father and your mother were among the fortunate ones to have found each other as soul mates, as well. It is strange, my mom and dad both had birthdays in July, one on the 14 and the other on the 24. Now I see that your dad was born in July as well. It seems as if many wonderful and kind people were born in the month of July.
For me it has been 5 and 6 years since my parents have gone. And still, I miss them. I can get through the day without getting teary eyed, or feeling down, or anything of the kind. But I sometimes think to myself, I should give my mom a call this weekend, then just as quickly, it hits me, I don't have a phone that will reach quite THAT long of a distance. Or I run into a question about something that I know my dad could answer, and then just that quickly, it goes back out of my head.
I think when our parents pass, we join a sort of club, where the members are now orphans, and while we care about each other and wish we could comfort each other, the fact is, we are all in the very same boat, and are going around the pond in the same direction.
I can only tell you once again that I grieve with you, and understand that there is a difference in your life, and that while it might seem obvious, it is also subtle, and sometimes only you can perceive it. I wish for you that in those times, when you feel the subtle difference, that you are sensitive to the hug that your loved one would perhaps pass across the line that divides our two sides, and feel his touch. Some people may not like to think like that, and that is okay, too. But as for me, I believe in a loving God, and I don't think that He would allow us to continue on with life without our parents to keep an eye on us, at times smoothing our path, and at times, steering us away from trouble. And yes, sometimes allowing us to go through that trouble, in order for us to learn and grow.
I wish you nothing but peace, for you and your family. Blessings. Tim

phlegmfatale said...

I don't know how I'm just seeing your comment, pigpen, but thank you for your kind words. It's been over a year and sometimes the grief just wallops me over the head. Yes, they were soulmates. and what a blessing that is for people who find that in such a difficult world. Thank you again for your kind thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your kind and loving support, Jonna and Old_NFO. This past year has been much easier than it would have been without such good friends as you. I love you dearly.