Fatale Abstraction

I haven't the remotest remembrance where I got this photo of the Stay-Puft marshmallow car, but, oh, what the heck!
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Contender for Asshat Of The Year award:

A resident had a party and thought it'd be really groovy to just stick his ratty old washer/dryer out under the covered parking. Mind you, this is not a white trash community. There are no cars on blocks. My 2005 Hyundai is one of the oldest, cheapest cars to be found there.

I saw the W/D the next day and told maintenance to remove it from the property immediately, that the owner of our company would come unglued if they saw such trash sitting about. Maintenance approached the owner of the W/D.

Maintenance Person: We were told to remove your washer/dryer - would you like us to move them back into your apartment for you?

Asshat Of The Year: No. I really want to sell them. Do you know anyone who might want to buy them?

MP: Maybe. I'll ask. How much do you want for the pair?

AOTY: I want $100. If you haul them off and sell them I'll give you some money.

MP: *shrugs*

AOTY: Tell you what - if you'll sell them for me, I'll give you five dollars.

Maintenance took the W/D and sold it, dutifully bringing back the $100. Asshat of the Year didn't pay them the five bucks.

The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

What is up with someone who can so rudely misuse people and then screw them out of the obscenely pitiful amount he pledged to give them for their efforts? Actually, I think the offer of $5 for hauling off his unwanted old crap was more insulting than the fact that he didn't pay them. Better not to have offered at all.

Once a woman came to look at an apartment, saw AOTY on the property and told me a story about how he was in her store trying to dicker more money off on some $300 orange pants that were discounted 90%. He was enraged that the clerk wouldn't lower the price, and demanded to speak to the manager, who also was like: "that's the price, dude."

He paid the $30, and to the swank OOBER-hepcats running that chic boutique he's eternally branded as the most inveterate cheapskate of losers. She told me to call her back when that guy moved away, because she really wanted to live there, but didn't need the drama.

Good call, I'd say.

You have to feel sorry for someone like that- it must be very lonely to be unable to value other humans out of simple decency. How wretched to make everything about screwing someone out of a penny or two. Seeing someone like that who was obviously reared by jackals and rattlesnakes, I feel pretty humbled and privileged for the upbringing I received. I was already proud of that, but it's nice to be reminded. I should send him a thank you card.