Friday, August 19, 2011
I bore the unthinkable prequel of Star Trek and even managed to enjoy same. I managed to giggle at the movie version of The Beverly Hillbillies, so you know I'm open minded... Charlie and the Chocolate Factory vastly excelled Willy Wonka in tone and in texture, and I applauded that effort.
...but this??? To re-make Bladerunner?
We can name several actors who were never better than this moment on film. The pacing is brilliant, the costumes and sets are riveting and the music is beyond poignant for the film and subject. The cinematography is brilliant, and I can't think of anything that-- 30 years later, looks schlocky or ugly or embarrassing. I don't care that the original director is the one at the helm of the remake. It matters not to me that elements of the film were disparate from the novel on which the film is based. I just don't think it's possible to take that material and render a more evocative or compelling dystopia than that of Scott's original vision.
I'm beyond disgusted at the thought. How about we tinker around with the Mona Lisa? How about we go in and photoshop the shit out of Marilyn Monroe? Why not deconstruct the music of Mozart and fiddle around with that to make it over? I'll tell you why we don't: because we can't make it better, stronger or faster. It was already perfect.
So, naturally, I'll be trotting out to the cinema straightaway when it's released. Maybe I'll be dazzled and awed and pleased with the revision, and if I am, then I'll admit so and publicly. But I highly doubt I will. I wish damned dirty apes knew when to leave their stinking paws off stuff. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.