And speaking of preposterous practices done in the name of beauty, I think eyelash curlers are one of the silliest, scariest things people do to themselves. These horrifying things always make me wonder how many people have ripped a whole lid of lashes out in one go. Gluing fake eyelashes on makes more sense. Did you know there are salons specializing in semi-permanent attachment of mink eyelashes now? *nodding* Yes. Silly. Anyway, eyelash curlers look like some form of torture device or mini guillotine wannabe. Ew. I'm all for enhancing what one has, but only up to a point. As for mink eyelash enhancements, why not go whole-hog and use monkey-fur? You'll have long, muppet-like eyelashes and a monkey will die. Everybody wins!
And while we're on the subject, what is with the spate of frighteningly over-groomed young men everywhere with over-waxed eyebrows? Guys like Edward from Twilight. I'm not saying a fellow should aspire to go around like a wooly booger or anything, but I'd rather see a man with a healthy crop of various facial hair than one who looks like he spends more money and time grooming his eyebrows in a month than most people do in a lifetime. By all means, fellows, tidy up, but don't over-do it. We like you because you are men. Besides, you should be secure enough to let your Lady be the pretty one. And we all think you're wonderful and handsome without too much tinkering, anyway.