Tuesday, July 01, 2008


Valentine

Much Beloved

Intrepid Soul

&

Fabulous Bitch

31 October 1991 - 1 July 2008




I wrote this 5 days ago during the tear-soaked night I realized you have so little time left with me. You were always such a furry streak of lightning that the thought of you getting old was unfathomable. I always rather fancied that one day you'd expire of sheer exuberance after one of our marathon fetch sessions. Like any mortal creature, though, you have lived long enough to be betrayed by your superb little body. As your back limbs became impaired, you've stalwartly muddled through on what looks like grim determination, and that grit alone has made me never want to let you go. I've prayed every day since I wrote this that today wouldn't be the day I have to choose to let you go. I didn't get the easy option of not choosing, though. In the end it's not a question of my selfish need to keep you but of the intolerable sight of one of the world's most intrepid creatures peering out through a haze of pain and bewilderment.





You taught me so much about life and about love. You made me realize I could love a little dog more than any material possession on earth. You have been the embodiment of what I see as the very best of myself. I know in some ways I haven't been the best mistress, but I've tried to learn as I've gone along and you've always seemed so happy with me. I will always remember fondly and miss that moment every night when you'd curl up under the covers by my feet. I'll always remember the countless funny things you did, our silly little rituals and the quirky secret society populated by you and I alone.




Thank you for everything, Valentine. Thank you for being mine.




If I live to be 100, you'll forever be my one and only little bunny dog. I'll always treasure the memory of you. Life without you will be less sweet, but I'll always remember what you've taught me, and I'll carry you in my heart, always.




woof.

61 comments:

Tam said...

God, I'm so sorry. :(

Roberta X said...

Oh, dear Phlegmmy, my heartfelt condolences to you.

g bro said...

I'm so sorry about your sweet little puppy. You were really good to each other.

Myron said...

I am so sorry, kiddo. what else can I say? She was fortunate to have you to care for her.

Turk Turon said...

Oh, Phlegmmy!

I am so sorry to hear about this. My heart goes out to you.

Joe Allen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a lucky little doglet, to find such a wonderful home with you.

Joe

Breda said...

Aw, little Valentine...we'll all miss reading about her and seeing photos of her.

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your friend, Phlegmmy.

Willorith said...

It is somewhat cliche but, it is through great challenge that we grow the most. As you look back over your life the hardest parts are the ones that give you the most strength. The worst thing that can happen to me already has, nothing in the future holds power over me.
My heart is with you Ms. Phlegm

Christina LMT said...

Phlegmmy, I'm so sorry, my friend.

Please accept my condolences.

Anonymous said...

If heaven doesn't have a spot for all my four-legged pals that went before me, I don't care to go.

Very sorry to hear about your friend.

--Marko

og said...

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
- Mark Twain, a Biography

Valentine is waiting for you there. And will wait patiently, and be just as glad to see you when you arrive as she ever was in life. My heartfelt condolences.

Mark Alger said...

Here's hoping that once the immediate pain begins to ebb, that the gift and the glory of having had such a person in your life will beging to reassert itself.

M

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I grieve for you, Phlegmmy. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I loved hearing your stories of the adventures of Valentine (whom I will always think of as Doglet) and I hope that the memories of your time together will always bring you joy.

It's one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, to chose to let a pet go, but you did the right thing.

Bless her memory.

Rocket Girl said...

I am so very sorry.

Mike said...

I am very sorry for your loss. I wish it never had to be this way. Godspeed Valentine.

JD said...

You were lucky to have so many good years with her, sorry to hear of your loss. Sounds a lot like when we had to let go of our Lesa when she was 14. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do but I know it was the right thing too. Stay strong and remember the good times!

This Poem helped me a lot -

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Oldsmoblogger said...

I'm really sorry for your loss.

kaveman said...

Will Rogers(1897-1935) said it best.

"If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go
where they went."

Squeaky Wheel said...

:-( I'm sorry, Phlegmmy.

lainy said...

LaP, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please remember all the happy times you two shared, she'd want that. You're in my prayers.

aepilot_jim said...

I'm so sorry. Losing a loved one is always so hard.

JPG said...

We extend our deepest sympathy, dear friend. You are dealing with one of the main drawbacks of sharing one's life with a beloved companion and pet. I can only dread the time when we are separated from any of our three dogs.

I think we need to shop for another monitor - - - this screen keeps blurring up on me.

Love and best wishes.
JPG

Rabbit said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Both of us have you and Val in our thoughts.

Regards,
Rabbit.

HollyB said...

I'm with the Dearly Beloved on the Monitor shopping thang...

No, I'll fess up, I'm cryin like a baby. My heart is breakin' for you.
Having had the pleasure of meeting Miss Doglet in Person, I know how wunnerful she was. She DID love those treats. She was such a friendly, smart girl!

I picked an AWFUL time to go out of town, didn't I?

You know how to reach me tho...and I'm with you in my heart.

The Captain said...

Such a sad time; I'm sorry you have to go through this. The upside of having a great pet is clear, but its price is steep at the end.

Hang on to those great memories of fetch, and all the others.

DirtCrashr said...

My deepest sympathy - doggies live their lives so fully and with love but in faster years that outpace us.

Anonymous said...

I second jd; I lost my little Jolie as a five-month-old kitten and that poem has never failed to move and comfort me.

My younger sister once said something very wise. I asked if she believed that our pets went to heaven; she replied, "Of course they do. If they didn't, it wouldn't be heaven."

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

*HUGS*
Lissa

Buck said...

My condolences, Phlegmmy, I am SO sorry for you. I know how hard it is to let go and the size of the hole in your life. As the others have said: focus on the great good times you had together. Those times were blessings.

D.W. Drang said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost two Fur Persons at the beginning of the year, both to cancer, and it still hurts to speak of them. I have been meaning to blog about them someday, but haven't found the strength. Maybe now I can do it...

D. Martyn Lloyd-Morgan said...

Being a dog lover myself, and having lost my beloved 15-year old Lhasa Apso last year, I simply had to stop by and offer my sincere condolences.

I am still grieving his loss. So give yourself plenty of time. That grief is normal when you lose part of your family...and our dogs are our babies.

Sincerely,
D. Martyn Lloyd-Morgan
The Liberty Sphere

Less said...

"Its God's cruelest joke that dogs only live so long..."

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I've had to do the same more times than I wish to think about...it's one of the few awful things about having a pet.

It's probably no condolence to you, but you did the right thing for her. It's heartbreaking for you, but just imagine, she's running around now with no pain, and she'll be there waiting for you when your time has come.

Lots of hugs from over here.

Anonymous said...

She was good dog. Tears fall.

SpeakerTweaker said...

Aww, Miss Phlegmmy. I am so sorry.

She was so lucky to have a you.



tweaker

Hammer said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

My heartfelt sympathy. I know what you're feeling. :(

Ted said...

I'm sorry to hear this. Valentine's dates reminded me of my former best friend, Jack, German Shepherd (1980 - 1991).

You're never the same after they go. Thanks for sharing, and making me think of him.

staghounds said...

The joy of loving a great dog and the pain of losing one are at the way far end of the heart's reach. She won the terrier lottery with you.

CrankyProf said...

Oh, honey. I am so, so sorry.

angus lincoln said...

I like to think that you two will meet again someday. So sorry for your loss. I know how it feels. Hang in there; her memory will always live on.

Teresa Duncan said...

There's lots of running room and treats up there. I'm sorry for your loss.

Kate said...

My heart hurts for you. I'm so very sorry. It's the hardest path to walk when you suddenly find yourself walking it without your beloved companion.

George said...

Phlegmmy ... my heart bleeds for you. I remember putting my Airedale down ... and I knew that it hurt so much only because I loved her so much.

We are better human beings for having had dogs in our lives.

My condolences.

Lin said...

That last photo really got to me - what a sweet little thing. Won't reiterate the e-mail ... you know I'm here with the rest of your friends.

Mauser*Girl said...

I am horrifically behind reading the blogs in my blog roll, so I apologize for not having stopped by and commented earlier.

I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like such a great little pup. :(

I have recently read a post on a dog board that had a sentence in it that really stood out to me. It read, "Euthanasia is taking your dog's pain and putting it into your heart."

Cybrludite said...

My condolences as well. I didn't exactly do Xeno of Cittum proud when I had to have my Boykin, Sassy, put down.

Todd said...

You were blessed to have Valentine in your life and you blessed Valentine by providing a wonderful life. Cherish the memories.

My sympathies.

Anonymous said...

One of my favorite stories, aside from the Rainbow Bridge thing someone else posted:

http://www.boomerangtags.com/gates.html

My condolences - making that decision is one of the hardest things anyone ever has to do.

Willorith said...

You are blessed with so many friends that care about you. I get misty eyed when I read the comments about you and your pooch.

James said...

I'm so sorry, Phlegm.

James

Flo said...

Phlegm, I am so so sorry, my heart is just breaking for you, I can hardly see the friggin screen. I know exactly what it's like to not want to make that decision and hope for just a little longer. Then your heart says it's time.

But I know dogs have some sort of soul that moves on. I'll tell you about it next month. Meantime, know you're both in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Flo

Becky said...

I'm so sorry that you had to make the choice -- I dread that day, but I know in the end that you have to do what's also best for them and when life becomes more miserable for them. I'm glad that you had her in your life and that she was able to do so much for you.

Gay_Cynic said...

Please accept my condolences on your loss....

RedneckInNY said...

Sweet dog Valentine
Her love for you eternal
Tears dry; love always

(Came here via Breda, via Tam.)

Zelda said...

Oh Pleghmmy I'm so sorry. I loved reading your little stories about her. You and she seemed such a pair. I'm glad you gave each other so much joy and I'm so sorry she's gone. My condolences.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. There's almost nothing harder than loosing the source of so much unconditional love. Been through it a few times myself. Huge hugs. Time heals, but never fully.

Tea Wench said...

I read of your loss on AD's blog -I well understand your sorrow at the loss of a beloved wee dog - I know the time is coming soon when my elderly sheltie will finish fading away. I've found Kipling's poem "The Power of a Dog" a comfort, though intensely emotional and tear inducing.
"You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart for the dog to tear"
The entire poem is on my blog among April's poetry barrage:

http://teaandsarcasm.blogspot.com/2008/04/keep-on-kipling.html

I'm sorry for your loss, but sorrier still for those who never experince the love of a pet so deeply.

Miz Minka said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. (Been there, unfortunately.) What a beautiful tribute to Valentine, and what a long and wonderful life she had with you!

steff66 said...

Oh Reet, I am soooo sorry to hear about Valentine! I am writing this through my own tears at your terrible loss. She was a good sweet doggie. I'll never forget when she disappeared for three or so months. I really didn't hold out much hope that you would see her again but miracles do happen. That you would be reunited for more wonderful years together is the best gift I could think of.

Love, Steff

John B said...

Darling Phlegmmy,

I'm so sorry. I had a bad scare with my Rott Chester. At 11, he's not got too many years left. There's a lesson there. Dogs give us unbounded, unconditional love, and it's really unfair that they are only with us for such a short time.

Joseph said...

Sorry, Phlegmmy...it's a great loss. A dog loves us without condition, provides companionship without judgement, and a lot of fun, silly times. The worst part is having to let them go.