Tuesday, March 18, 2008


This is going to sound like bragging, but I honestly don't mean it to be. Whenever I find a new interest, I usually am very good at it right out of the box, and I'll jump in with both feet and achieve what seems like surprising success and rapid progress early in the process, only to crash and burn in the consuming flames of boredom which result from an attention span the duration of a lit match.

Monday night I went bowling and the most wonderful thing happened: I'm shockingly bad at it. I'm so bad, in fact, that I hope with years of patience and practice, I may actually break into the triple digits. Yes, I'm so spectacularly bad at bowling that it surely is destined to be my one abiding passion in life.

Since I'm destined to stink-on-ice at bowling, I'm thinking of cobbling together a high-50s style get-up to wear. I'm thinking Rizzo from Grease meets Roller-derby oober bitches. ROWR! Yeah, so I'm terrible! So what? You wanna make something of it?

Yes, I'm so bad and I love it so much that I'm not even embarrassed. Is there any music to parallel the thunder of balls rolling down the lanes, the crack of the pins, the chafing of thighs, polyester-on-polyester?

Sexay!
WOOHOO!

So, anyway, here's a little musical interlude by Yma Sumac that in some small way approximates what my new love, bowling, really means to me:



Can I get bowling shoes in glitter vinyl???

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Phlegmmy, there are actually cool bowling shoes.....check this out
http://www.thisnext.com/item/D305D6E3/5D73E439/Etonic-Retro-Black-Pink-Womens
and here's a cute bag
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000RAASUU?smid=ATFM7G6UZBSBR&tag=nextag-sports-mp-20&linkCode=asn
and lots of shoes....
http://www.bowling.com/productsbycategory.asp?ID=7&CategoryName=Womens+Shoes
have fun with it! I suck too but damn it's fun!

Christina LMT said...

Bowling.

I'm either horrible or brilliant at it, without any rhyme or reason. Which really makes it difficult to be consistently good.

I'm glad you're having fun!

Look up "sultry" in the dictionary, and there'll be a picture of Yma Sumac.

DirtCrashr said...

Wow, that music!

Supermum, Psycho Bitch said...

You sound just like my hubby. He is annoyingly good at anything he tries, even if it is for the first time.

I went bowling for the first time ever last summer and I sucked big time. I thought how hard could it be, but it's harder than it looks. I just thought I was going to be spectacular because of the damn Wii.

lainy said...

As hard as I try,and I really do, I suck at bowling. I keep trying because it's too much fun. Some may say I make myself look like an ass but I don't care.

Love that sexy, sultry voice. Makes me think of Holly:)

phlegmfatale said...

kvegas911 - wow - supercool stuff- I LOVE those shoes, too! Yays. I'm really excited. Thanks for the linkies.

christina - well, so long as you enjoy yourself, I suppose! Yma Sumac was divine!

dirtcrashr - it's marvelous, innit? Makes me want to mambo, even though I don't know how and wouldn't know it if I saw it

supermum - Yeah, it's kind of a curse, because it's so easy to be the jack-of-all-trades/master-of-none. It's funny how expectations can be at such remove from reality...

lainy - my kind of gal! You know how to have a good time and don't let other people spoil your fun. Good on you!

Lin M. said...

I can picture you in some REALLY sassy bowling shoes. . how fun.

Lin said...

Are you any better at mini-golf? I sucked at that one. too. Just glad I never bought fancy shoes before trying these activities.