Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Yet another victim of the Hollywood writers' strike...

In a plot too lame to be contrived, Jamie Lynn Spears (Britney's 16 year old sister) has announced she's gonna be a momma, y'all!. She stars in a show that's a hit with 9-14 year olds on Nickelodeon channel. (No more role-models, please?) I suppose since she's rather a minor Hollywood luminary they felt it was inevitable that folks would figure out the underage actress was preggers. Her boyfriend, whom she met through church(according to the article, whatever "through" means), is the father.

Now, this guy has got to be on the hot seat, right? Or does the speciousness of sex with underage pipples not count when they are celebrities?

From the article:

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she said. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."


Like, totally! Wow, you mean, like, sex makes babies? Who knew? More timely tips? Read on:

What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told the magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."


Hmmm. More do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do from a celebrity? Thanks for that timely tip-- and thanks for not judging, JL!

Good on her for working on her fame quotient intsead of futzing about with silliness like college and scrap-booking and ponies. Why let Britney have all the fun? Why not cut to the chase?

Soon JL will be speeding down the Santa Monica freeway, baby in lap, cheeto-smudged cigarette dangling from her bottom lip, flipping off the paparazzi.

Seems the Spears family have finally invented a perpetual-motion event. Unfortunately, that event is a train-wreck

12 comments:

DBA Dude said...

While the law should be enforced I would prefer not give any more publicity to this clan of "train-wrecks".

Barbara Bruederlin said...

We can all sleep more soundly knowing that the Spears spawn will grace our magazine covers for decades to come. Hallelujah.

Myron said...

Did some googelin' just for the hell of it. Seems that since her boyfriend is 3 years or less older than her, he committed a misdemeaner. If he did her in California.

Thought this was amusing:

"One of the best lines about the Spears’ teen pregnancy comes from Ronn Torossian, a veteran crisis PR pro who has counseled such celebs as Sean ‘‘Diddy’’ Combs, Snoop Dogg and Lil’ Kim through their rough patches. Torossian, who is CEO of 5W Public Relations, said Wednesday, ‘‘Frankly, I don’t see any ‘Spears Family Christmas Prime Time Specials’ being sold into syndication anytime soon. ... If Michael made LaToya look like the normal Jackson, Britney might be the Spears with the better moral judgment."

And did you see Momma Spears is putting her parenting how-to book on hold? Shit you not. That has to be a very short book. One sentence. "Don't do it like I did."

Kevin said...

You can take the trash out of the trailer park...

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Do ya feel the slow but steady spiral down the commode? Here's our culture folks.

DirtCrashr said...

She "can't be judgmental" because she's a freakin' moron and won't accept responsibility for what she did to herself - it's a big "shock" so it must be caused by electricity!

Rabbit said...

At least we know they make too gorram much money to be on public assistance. No WIC cheese for her.

Regards,
Rabbit.

Silver the Evil Chao said...

*insert evil hand-rubbing here*

Haha, now I can rub it my sisters' faces, one of them has a Jamie Lynn Spears poster in her room and she claims that Jamie's better than Britney morally...

TOLD YA SO!

*cough*

It's called protection, dumbasses. Oh, wait, her trashy family never told her that, did they?

Christina said...

Condoms?

BC Pill?

Plan B?

Did mama not sit her daughter's ass down and explain the birds and the bees? What about the baby-daddy? At nineteen he doesn't know dick (*snort*) about preventing conception?

Did no one think to sneak the 16-year-old into Planned Parenthood for a consultation?

Morons, who will merrily keep on begetting morons.

*sigh*

Christina said...

"But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

Which position is that?

On her knees, on her back, on his lap...?

Sorry, I couldn't resist! ;)

lainy said...

People with money don't care how they influence our kids nowadays.

The Spears clan could afford b.c. and condoms, but why should they when they can afford to feed these kids that most likely will not be taken care of.

Time for tubeligation's.

Becky said...

I saw this on the news this morning and wanted to upheave my breakfast. You can't even make this stuff up.